Overheard in Pittsburgh

Let’s be honest: The site’s a mess right now. It looks like something was changed in the template I’m using because I have seen other sites affected in the same way. Regardless, trying to figure out how to fix it, in addition to the requirements of grad school and work have kept me from focusing on posting for the past week or so. Of course, reduced posting is not a new thing; it’s just excessive now.

I have figured out a few ways to make my life easier so I can spend more time on the site and make it awesome again. I have a few ideas on how to make it better than it has ever been. I’d hire someone to help me with the site, but I have never made any money off the site; if anything, I have spent way more money on the site than I have made.

Among the changes I will be making is a big upgrade in the site, as well as restored access to the RSS feed. If I can’t recoup expenses from advertising, I might as well make the site more accessible
for people. I love doing the site, but I have been exhausted for months. Did you know grad school is difficult? It’s not an urban legend, like the baby in the microwave or World War II.

I am now beginning to shop the site around for book publication and as a regular feature for a local publication. These would be sister projects to the site and would afford me more time to work on the main project. If you know anyone who might be interested in licensing Overheard in Pittsburgh content, please sent them my way. If you’d like to see OIP in your favorite afternoon newspaper or alt newsweekly, I am sure editors would like to know.
Right. So that’s the state of Overheard in Pittsburgh: Renewed focus, coming upgrades, more convenient access, and possible print publication in addition to Web.
Any questions? Fire away. Thanks for bearing with me.

Dining Room, Duquesne Club.
Three Old, Rich White Guys are having dinner at the corner table:

Old, Rich White Guy: I’ve been having a lot of non-orgasm orgasms lately. Really, it’s the best mattress I ever bought.

Meyran Ave, Oakland. Night.
Lights are being flicked on and off in an apartment:

Girl in Apartment: Come rave with me!
[Laughter can be heard from another apartment, across the street.]
Guy in Apartment: Shit, there’s people out there! [Quickly shuts the curtains.]

— Overheard by Carol

Litchfield Towers Lobby, Pitt Campus:

Guy: So if you could have anyone sing a song about your life, who would it be?
Girl: I think it would have to be Justin Timberlake — not just because he’s a good singer, but he can really tell a story with his music.

— Overheard by Julia

Outside a bar, Ambridge. Evening.
A father is standing with his six-year-old son.

Child: [pointing at his father and running away into the Sunoco parking lot] STRANGER DANGER STRANGER DANGER!
Father: You get back here! That’s stranger danger over there!

— Overheard by Rachel and Dommy

61C Outbound, Forbes / Wightman. The bus is packed:

Old Jewish Woman: Bus Driver, open the back door!
Bus Driver: Sorry, ma’am, back door’s broken.
Old Jewish Woman: All right you jews, part the waters! You’ve done it before, you can do it again.
[Everyone complies.]

61B Inbound near CMU, Oakland. Saturday afternoon.
A woman in her late 50s is chattering to her daughter about how excited she’ll be to have another grandchild and how she hopes it’s a boy:

Daughter: Ma, gimme a cigarette.
Mother: I don’t have any.
Daughter: Yes, you do, I know you do.
Mother: Honey, your baby don’t need no nicotine.
Daughter: I’m his momma, I know what he needs!
Random Stranger: How ’bout givin’ me a cigarette? I ain’t pregnant.

GetGo, S. 18th St, South Side.
Two of the three cashiers on duty — all women in their 40s-50s  — are discussing the hot dogs:

Cashier #1: Whatta yinz want me a do wid ese ones?
Cashier #2: Throw em aht, ey’re yucky.
Cashier #1: What?
Cashier #2: Ey’re YUCKY! YUCKY!!!

A minute later, Cashiers #1 and#3 have a long conversation about the lingering smell in the restroom.

— Overheard by Stephanie

Men’s Room, Lobby, Marriott, Downtown. After a Fire Evacuation:

Black Man #1: [at urinal, sounds like Eddie Griffin] Shit. She called from Tampa with that shit.
Black Man #2: [at another urinal] Yeah.
Black Man #1: I told her that shit work both ways.
Black Man #2: Yeah.
Black Man #1: Shit.
White Man: [in handicapped stall] Is that Eddie Griffin?
Black Man #2: Yeah.

GetGo, Wilkinsburg.
Two men are discussing problems with a grocery bagger:

Man #1: I told him to put the bread on TOP. It’s just common sense. I don’t want no CURVED sandwich.