Overheard in Pittsburgh

North Side, Mexican War Streets. Wednesday Morning.
A young woman is walking down a quiet residential street, raging on her cell phone:

Woman: She COY! And that fuckin shit’s TIII-RRRRRED!

 — Overheard by VertigoXpress

Entrance, Target, Harmarville

Male Security Guard: [fluttering eyelashes at other male security guard] My mama says I have pretty eyelashes!

Information Desk, Hillman Library, Pitt:
A group of homely Library Science majors are talking quietly amongst themselves.:

Girl #1: [Yelling] Oh, that’s right! I am so excited! American Gladiators starts up again next week!
Librarian: Shhh!

History Section, Border’s, Mt. Lebanon:

Hipster Girl: “What kind of books do I like?” The non-pretend ones.
Hipster Guy: [confused] You mean non-fiction?
Hipster Girl: That’s called non-fiction? Oh.

— Overheard by Jon

School Bus:

Girl #1: You know, Chinese people are like good at everything!
Girl #2: THAT’S COS THEY’RE POOR!
Girl #1:OoOhh

— Overheard by Dommy and Dean

Amon Tobin Concert, Rangos Ballroom, CMU.
Two college-age girls are waiting for Amon Tobin to take the stage :

Girl #1: I mean, it’s just herpes simplex B.
Girl 2: That’s the good one, right? B is better than A. Unless you’re in school.

—Overheard by Chr Flyr

Crowded 59U Outbound, Oakland.
Two Pitt students are standing in the middle of the bus as it pulls in front of CMU.

Bus Driver: Please step to the back!
Pitt Boy: Don’t. I wanna play my favorite game.
Pitt Girl: What game?
[The door of the bus opens.]
Bus Driver: [to sad CMU kids] Sorry, guys, no room!
Pitt Boy: Hurray! I won!

Overheard by SportFan

Crowded Hallway, Tekkoshocon Anime Convention:

College Guy Dressed as Ninja: But I don’t want to be a ninja! I want to be a squirrel! Squirrels have all of the fun!
[Question: Why can't he be both? Or more?]

Gullifty’s, Squirrel Hill:

Maid of Honor #1: I am going to be on a maid-of-honor tirade if people
don’t check themselves.
Maid of Honor #2: If they don’t check themselves, you gonna wreck them good.
Maid of Honor #1: People can call me a bitch. I can take that criticism. But if anyone steps to my girl or my other girls, if anyone starts some shit with the bride, I’m gonna smack them the hell out of matrimony.
Maid of Honor #2: Mm-hmm!

Packed 59U Outbound, Forbes/Morewood, Oakland:

Spunky Lady Busdriver: Move it in, people! You can’t be above the line!
[People push and yell]
Spunky Lady Busdriver: USE YOUR WORDS, people! “PLEASE AND THANK YOU!” Damn, yo mamas’ be ashamed!