Overheard in Pittsburgh

Brillobox, Bloomfield:

Drunk Man: McKees Rocks… It’s economically depressed.
Girl: Yeah, and emotionally depressed too.
Drunk Man: [excitedly: Yeah! You know it! [less excitedly] You’re Jewish, aren’t you?
Girl: How can you tell?
Drunk Man: Your demeanor. My ex-girlfriend was Jewish. Sometimes I miss her.

Starbucks, Forbes Ave, Oakland.
Three large Christian youth groups in matching t-shirts enter, and the vast majority orders Frappuccinos. After about 20 minutes, the Lutheran group leaves:

Christian Youth Councilor: [to another] Fucking Lutherans.

N. Craig St., Oakland.
Two large Catholic school girls are walking slowly, taking up the entire sidewalk. A few people have lined up behind them:

Girl #1: So I left without her. I told her she was too slow.
Girl #2: Mmmmhmmm.

Liberty-Smithfield Garage, Downtown. Palm Sunday Morning.
Two boys, fresh out of Palm Sunday services with Palm branches, swat one another with the palms:

Mother: Young men, those are not swords!
Boy #1: Swords!
Boy #2: We’re not men! We’re women!

— Overheard by AlwaysReporting

Shop ‘N’ Save, Imperial:

White Guy with Afro: D’ya mind buying me some iced tea? I gave up soda for Lent.
Girl: [holding two 12-packs of pop] Uh. Sure… You’re Catholic?
White Guy: [walks off, turns around and walks backwards for a bit] Yeah. Religion happens to the best of us. [remorsefully]

Bruegger’s Bagels, Moon Township A middle-aged Catholic lady approaches the bagel counter. The man in front of her in line is a priest, complete with Roman collar.

Lady: Do you have anything meatless?
Bagel Maker: You mean like bagels?

[The lady orders a breakfast sandwich.]

Lady: Wait… I don’t know if I want the egg. Are eggs OK for Lent?
Bagel Maker: I really don’t know. Probably?
Priest: Excuse me. It’s a matter of debate, but I think they’re fine.
Lady: Are you sure? How do you know?

— Overheard by Darwin Police

Sociology of Family, Frick Arts Lecture Hall, Pitt:

Professor: Think about it: You’re all bisexual. Now before you go home telling your parents your professor said Jesus was a homosexual and you’re bisexual think about this: Men have nipples!
— Overheard by Elyse

University Center, Carnegie Mellon.
A few people talk in a group near the revolving door:

Asian Guy: [to Blonde Girl] Can I be your girlfriend?
Blonde Girl: Are you Jewish?
Asian Guy: Mmhmm.
Blonde Girl: Then yes, you can!
— Overheard by Connor 

Walnut Street, Shadyside:

College Girl on Cellphone: No no no: Jewish Ben lives by your place.

— Overheard by Feightner

Statistics 800, Room 332, Cathedral of Learning.
A student walking to the front of the room trips over a wheelchair ramp:

Girl without a Soul: [Turns to the person next to her] I love it when people trip, don’t you?! Hahahaha.
Boy Next to Her: [Mumbles loud enough for a few others to hear] I wonder if God smites during Stats class.

— Overheard by JoelOneRowBack