Overheard in Pittsburgh

Caribou Coffee, Fortbes Ave, Oakland. Late Afternoon.
Students are scattered around the coffee shop seating, socializing and studying. Outside, a war protest is forming in front of the army recruiters office, which is in between Qdoba and Kinkos:

Barista #1: [to Barista #2] Hey! They’re protesting again!
Barista #2: Where at?
Barista #1: Outside! Come look!
[Barista #2 walks over and looks outside, pauses]
Barista #2: [confused] Why are they always protesting Kinkos?
Barista #1: [looking at the confused look on Barista #2's face] Are you serious?
Barista #2: They’re always outside of Kinkos!
[...]
Barista #1: They’re outside the Army Recruiters office.
Barista #2: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! … Damn Kinkos.

Minutes later:

Barista #2: [marching around behind the bar] I HATE KINKOS! I HATE KINKOS! I HATE KINKOS!

— Overheard by CoffeeHouseLounge

Elevator, Litchfield Tower C, Pitt Campus. After Midnight.
A forlorn, disheveled Student talks to his less-disheveled friend:

Student #1: Ugh.
Student #2: What?
Student #1: Stephen Colbert just directed his Nerd Army to attack Wikipedia again.
Student #2: What, really? He’s still doing stuff like that?
Student #1: Yeah, I don’t know; I guess telling his mindless drones to fuck up their school’s dictionaries wasn’t hilarious enough.
Student #2: Didn’t he used to make fun of guys like that? Is he making fun of his fans, or what? I mean, what’s his point?
Student #1: Yeah; I used to think that stuff was funny, but now it’s just kind of weird and sad. I’m kind of ready for him to be over now.
Student #2: Yeah.

— Overheard by I used to think he was funny too

Editor’s Note: I have loved Stephen Colbert’s work for a long time — Exit 57, Strangers with Candy, the Daily Show, and his current series — but I think this stuff’s a little done, too. At what point did Colbert stop merely mimicking the charismatic leaders of cult-like movements and actually become one? When does the cost of the joke exceed the payoff? I really wish Colbert would stop with the Rocky-Horror-Picture-Show-audience-participation biz would stop so I can feel OK about liking his series again. — Chris

Office, Downtown:

Young Junior Accountant: Dude, all the flags are at half staff because Coach retired.
Co-Worker: No, that’s because President Ford died.
Junior: Oh.

— Overheard by aurora

Side of a Moving Van, Regent Square.
Hours after the State Announced the Slots License Winner:

— Seen by ambrose

61B Inbound:

Lady: I don’t think they should do anything to Downtown. We don’t need no redevelopmend Downtown. It’s fine the way it is.
Man: Yeah. You know what? Downtown development only benefits those who’ve put money into it. It’s just a way to make money. And that benefits the minority. And you know who the minority is? The majority.
Lady: That’s right.

 — Overheard by Smokey

54C Inbound, Oakland:

Drunk Blonde Girl: I’m as Republican as Republican comes!

— Overheard by Sarah E

Near the Roberto Clemente Bridge, Downtown. Before the Allstar Game.
A small group of anti-sweatshop protesters march toward the game when a group of anti-abortion protesters comes into view:

Sweatshop Protester #1: Look at them!
Sweatshop Protester #2: They’ll do anything for publicity!

- Overheard by Neutral Bystander

Overheard in Pittsburgh FunFact™: One of the unborn stars of the anti-abortion signs in named “Baby Malachai”! No autographs, please!

Packed 71A Outbound, Hill District. Rush Hour.
Following a rambling, misinformed political discussion:

Well-Dressed Pimp Daddy With a Walking Stick: You shouldn’t believe everything you read.
Dirty-Blonde Pony Tail Chick: You’re smart. How’d you get to know so much?
Pimp Daddy: I’m well-read.

— Overheard by Melanie

Organic Chemistry Class, Chevron Hall, Pitt Campus:

Bow-Tied Professor, struggling to align a projector : So it looks like our technicians “fixed” the projection system again. We’re going to have to live with it being slightly dimmer and farther to the right.
[...]
Kind of like the United States.

— Overheard by MichaelD