Overheard in Pittsburgh

Lower-Level Math Class, Doherty Hall, CMU campus:

Professor: Come on, even the Pitt kids would get this one.

— Overheard by egg

Atwood / Forbes, Oakland
A driver stops and asks a pedestrian for directions:

Driver: Excuse me…Atwood Street?
Pedestrian: You’re on it.
Driver on Atwood: Shit.

— Overheard by Steve

EBO Outbound:

Bus Driver: Wilkinsburg Park and Ride: Where you can ride and not park at all or park
and not ride at all! Port Authority offers you options!

DEP Regional Office Building, Liberty Ave, Downtown.
Two warmly dressed employees are standing in front of the windows. Outside, A man in khaki shorts walks by:

Man: That man has shorts on, and it’s cold out!
Woman: He must have gone to Duquesne.

— Overheard by vivie

Between McDonald’s and Joe Mama’s, Forbes Ave, Oakland. Dusk.
Bill Dorsey, the blind gospel man with the vocal power of the Voice of God, is on the move, and as people awkwardly try to get out of his way, they bump into one another:

Dorsey: Watch out, folks! Got a blind man walking! ‘Scuse me, please, need you to move for me if you would!
[A skinny, geeky couple walks toward him and veers dangerously close to oncoming traffic to get out of his path,]
Geeky Girl: [mumbling] Geez, dude, watch where you’re going.
Dorsey: WELL, GIMME YO’ EYES AND I WILL!
[Geeky Girl's jaw drops as she turns around.]

— Overheard by NoseyRosey

Primanti Bros., Crafton.
A middle-aged regular sits at the bar, eating his lunch, a Pittsburgher Cheesesteak:

Regular: This sandwich is really good.
Waitress: Yeah, I was surprised when you ordered a sandwich; you always seem to order wings or stuff like that.
Guy: Yea I know, but I’m on a diet now.
Waitress: Oh…

— Overheard by Steve

Philosophy Class, Cathedral of Learning, Pitt Campus.
Two Students discuss a female student in a different class:

Student #1: She’s old — like, old old.
Student #2: Old old?
Student #1: Like, older than our parents old.
Student #2: Ah, grandma old.
Student #1: Like, in between— like, in-between parents old and grandma old.

— Overheard by Dan

500 Inbound, Shadyside.
An attractive couple dressed in a tuxedo and an evening gown gets on the bus:

Bus Driver: I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to pick you up or
not. You look like you were standing on Rodeo Drive in Hollywood, but I’ll
tell you what: This ain’t no Rodeo Drive; this is Fifth Avenue in
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania!

* Overheard in Pittsburgh TrueFact™: Pittsburgh’s parking tax is the highest in the country. Have fun working downtown!

Office, Downtown:

Young Junior Accountant: Dude, all the flags are at half staff because Coach retired.
Co-Worker: No, that’s because President Ford died.
Junior: Oh.

— Overheard by aurora

Mon Incline, Mt. Washington:

Tourist Mother: [to her children] Now, they built the inclines to get away from the Johnstown flood.