Overheard in Pittsburgh

Brillobox, Bloomfield:

Drunk Man: McKees Rocks… It’s economically depressed.
Girl: Yeah, and emotionally depressed too.
Drunk Man: [excitedly: Yeah! You know it! [less excitedly] You’re Jewish, aren’t you?
Girl: How can you tell?
Drunk Man: Your demeanor. My ex-girlfriend was Jewish. Sometimes I miss her.

Under the Bridges near 279 North, North Side.
A Just Ducky tour drives past the Warhol Museum:

Tour Guide: Alright, everybody! Get your cameras ready! This is the most exciting and amazing thing you’ll see in all of Pittsburgh: the underside of 279! Amazing!
Kid in Back: You suck!

In front of Mercy Health Center, Soho:

Homeless Guy: Oh, honey, thank you, thank you! You’re the first beautiful thing I’ve seen in this damn city! Everything else is shit!

JFK Airport, New York City.
Airplane passengers are waiting for their flight to Pittsburgh. A 20-something girl walks up to gate, sits on the floor with her bags and eats pizza:

Yinzer Man: [gesturing to an empty seat next to him] You can sit right here, if you want.
Girl: [shakes head] That’s okay, I’m fine.
Yinzer Wife: It’s OK; we don’t bite!
Girl: [shakes head again and keeps eating]
Man: [to Yinzer Man] Hey, can I sit here?
Yinzer Man: [glaring at Girl] Sure you can: SHE doesn’t want it!

71A Inbound. 10 a.m.:

Loud Woman on Cell Phone: Oh, wait, it’s not Duquesne Light.
—Well, I can’t say it, but it’s spelled D-U-Q-U-E-S-N-E.
—Ohhh!

USAirways flight 1560, Ft. Lauderdale to Pittsburgh.
The majority of the passengers have sunburns and Steelers/camouflage/NASCAR clothing on. A large gentleman with the sleeves cut off of his t-shirt and a Yosemite Sam tattoo squeezes down the aisle, followed by a man with a Camaro shirt and a camo hat:

Man #1: [in thick yinzer accent]: Nuh-uh! These seatbelts are just like the ones on the Jack Rabbit!
Man #2: [next to him, shyly whispering] What’s the Jack Rabbit?
Man #1: [in disbelief]  JACK RABBIT’S ONE OF THE BEST ROLLER COASTERS EVER. IT’S AT KENNYWOOD.
[Several other passengers join in and talk about how great Kennywood is, how much they miss it, how they can’t wait for May…]

Man #3: You never heard of Kennywood? It’s best amusement park ever!
Man #4: Jack Rabbit’s a great roller coaster!
Man #5: I love `em Potato Patch French fries.

— Overheard by Ben Kundman

Engineering and Science Library, Carnegie Mellon University.
A male librarian walks in covered in snow:

Male Librarian: We should turn off the lights and be done with this stupid city.

Mon Incline, Mount Washington:

Young Man #1: I thought there were three rivers in Pittsburgh; I only see two.
Young Man #2: No, the third river is about a mile or two away.
Young Man #1: OK, yeah, that makes sense. That’s probably how they got the name for that old stadium.

Craig St., Oakland.
Two Store owners are shoveling snow off of their respective sidewalks:

Store Owner #1: Where’s the city with the salt for the roads and sidewalks?
Store Owner #2: Mmmhmmm.
Store Owner #1: We’d have been better off paying our taxes to Columbus and asking them to mail us some.

— Overheard by Connor

Bus Stop, 5th / Market, Downtown. Evening.
An old, crazy homeless man wanders down the street, mumbling to himself, until he grabs a guy by the arm and speaks louder:

Crazy Homeless Man: Pittsburgh’s lost it, man, it’s lost it’s CLASS. Steelers ain’t got no cheerleaders, ain’t got no class. Pittsburgh’s an asshole. A fucked asshole. No cheerleaders. No class.

[Crazy Homeless Man resumes walking and mumbling.]

— Overheard by Megan