Overheard in Pittsburgh

Campus Shuttle, University of Pittsburgh. Friday night.
The shuttle is full of loud, drunken college students:

Frat Boy: FACEBOOK ‘ER ‘N SHIT!

— Overheard by MLo

Crazy Mocha, Ellsworth, Shadyside:

Hipster Dude: I’m a para-legal in training; I can find anything!
[Begins to search for a phone number online.]

Jennie King Mellon Library, Chatham College.
The girl behind the desk is blatantly checking Facebook:

Blonde Patron: Excuse me, um, can I get a book?
Girl at Desk: Nope, fresh out.

[Girl at Desk turns back to Facebook and types.]

— Overheard by sexylibrarian

Near Hemingway’s, Forbes Avenue, Oakland. 5 p.m.
Three Ghetto Fab Black Girls talk loudly as they walk:

Ghetto Fab Black Girl: We don’ even talk no more; we just fight over Facebook.

Beehive, South Side.
A nerdy, bearded man sits by himself, enthralled in his laptop when three more nerds join him:

Beard Nerd: YO, MAN! You totally gave me the WRONG SPELL for Warcraft! I’M STILL AT THE SAME LEVEL!
Nerd Friend #1: Don’t yell at me for not being able to attain Warcraft greatness.
Nerd Friend #2: Hey, guys. My new girlfriend? She keeps getting on me for being a gamer. Like, come on! It’s a part of me. She’s really great though: She’s funny.
Nerd Friend #3: Well, dude, if she won’t actively participate in World of Warcraft with her man, then she’s gotta go. Make her a gamer, or she’s gotta go.

Outside the William Pitt Union, Pitt Campus. A very chilly day.
A College Girl in flip-flops, jeans, and a teeshirt talks on her cell phone.

College Girl: I am SO cold right now!

— Overheard by Katrina

Elevator, Litchfield Tower C, Pitt Campus. After Midnight.
A forlorn, disheveled Student talks to his less-disheveled friend:

Student #1: Ugh.
Student #2: What?
Student #1: Stephen Colbert just directed his Nerd Army to attack Wikipedia again.
Student #2: What, really? He’s still doing stuff like that?
Student #1: Yeah, I don’t know; I guess telling his mindless drones to fuck up their school’s dictionaries wasn’t hilarious enough.
Student #2: Didn’t he used to make fun of guys like that? Is he making fun of his fans, or what? I mean, what’s his point?
Student #1: Yeah; I used to think that stuff was funny, but now it’s just kind of weird and sad. I’m kind of ready for him to be over now.
Student #2: Yeah.

— Overheard by I used to think he was funny too

Editor’s Note: I have loved Stephen Colbert’s work for a long time — Exit 57, Strangers with Candy, the Daily Show, and his current series — but I think this stuff’s a little done, too. At what point did Colbert stop merely mimicking the charismatic leaders of cult-like movements and actually become one? When does the cost of the joke exceed the payoff? I really wish Colbert would stop with the Rocky-Horror-Picture-Show-audience-participation biz would stop so I can feel OK about liking his series again. — Chris

Eat ‘n’ Park, Waterfront. Late Friday Night.
A group of women who were probably really hot and popular in 1992 are talking:
Former Cheerleader: You should really go to her MySpace page. You’ll be like, “Is that Angela? It just looks like a stripper.”