Overheard in Pittsburgh

Intro to Psychology Class, David Lawrence Hall, Pitt.
The professor asks for a volunteer to see if strangers can estimate someone’s personality based on their appearance. A 6’5″, 270-pound football player steps to the front:

Professor: So, what do you think this guy is like?
Student: He’s outgoing?
Professor: Are you outgoing?
Football Player: [unenthusiastically] Yeh.
[Discussion continues...]
Voice from the Back: He likes cake?
Professor: Um… do you like cake?
Football Player: Yeh.

86B Outbound. Late Afternoon:

Young Woman #1: [holding young boy] I took my son to be vaccinated today, but it ended up taking all day.
Young Woman #2: Really? Why’d it take the whole day?
Young Woman #1: I couldn’t remember how to spell his name, so I had to go back home to get his birth certificate.

Women’s Restroom, Hilton Hotel, Downtown. During an Insurance Convention:

Middle-Aged Woman #1: Wait, you can’t go in there; that’s the handicapped stall.
Middle-Aged Woman #2: Honey, we’re all handicapped in our own way.

— Overheard by Rorge

Eddie’s Cafe, Litchfield Towers, Pitt Campus.
Two College Guys are waiting in the check-out line:

Guy #1: What are those birds that fucking talk?
Guy #2: Parrots?
Guy #1: No, that’s what my teacher said. [thinks] Ravens! That’s right.
Guy #2: Ravens talk? That’s like Edgar Allen Poe shit or something.
Guy #1: No, dude, they for real only say, like, one word ,though.

[...]

Guy #2: [imitating a raven] “Aquafina!?”
Guy #1: Yeah, dude! “Aquafina!” Only I’d make mine say, “Radiator.”

— Overheard by Joshua

Crowded 61F Outbound:

Girl on Cell: So, what you want to do tonight?
—You can’t have alcoholbecause you’re on that diet, right?
—Well, how about vodka? It’s almost like water.

Pittsburgh Penguins Hockey Game, Mellon Arena:
Two men are speaking Russian, intermittently screaming at the players.

Yinzer: Yinz from Canada?
Russian Man: Nope. Russia.
Yinzer: Same thing.

— Overheard by Pens Fan

Bru Lounge, North Shore. 9:30 Saturday Night.
A group of late-20s beer-and-wing guys are out with their girlfriends:

White Girl: Have you met his parents yet?
Indian Girl: Yeah. He introduced me as his “Durka Durka” — you know, like terrorists? And now that’s what his parents call me.
Boyfriend: Yeah, but we mean it in a funny way. And I mean, you did sign my Dad’s birthday card “Durka” afterward.
Indian Girl: [giggling] It’s just so funny: Like how typical white boy from Ohio can you get? And dating a foreigner!
Boyfriend: Oh, c’mon. I’ll make it up you. I’ll like… hug you… or open your car door or something.
Indian Girl: Yeah, he did offer to mail my dad a bag of Lay’s potato chips.

Wean Hall, Carnegie Mellon. A few minutes before a recitation is about to start, weeks into the semester:

Confused Guy: [poking his head in the door] ‘ey, is this econ theory?
[Several people tell him that it's not.]
Confused Guy: What the hell? [walking away] I coulda SWORN….

— Overheard by Ka-CHANG

Intro to Economics Class, Cathedral of Learning:

Econ Professor: So how would you then find the area of the rectangular?
Student: Length times width.
Econ Professor: No. For the rectangular, it’s one half times length times width.
Student: Isn’t that a triangle?
Econ Professor: Yes. So now that we have this area…

Biochemistry class, Langley Hall, Pitt Campus:

Girl with Stuffy Nose: Do people still live in Iowa?!

— Overheard by Katrina