Overheard in Pittsburgh

41D Inbound.
A yinzer in casual business attire is sitting, spread out, in the back of the bus, speaking to a 20-something woman, also in casual business attire:

Yinzer: Do they have a Starbucks in Station Square?
[Woman shakes her head.]
Yinzer: Why not?
Woman: Well, Station Square is surrounded by a lot of busy streets, so the backup in traffic it would cause is probably a problem. And there are a lot of Starbucks downtown, so they probably don’t need one in Station Square.
Yinzer: Tell you what: If I hit the lottery, that’s what I’d open!

— Overheard by ecto

National City Bank, Mt. Washington.
An extraordinarily short 30-something man is talking to bank teller and holding up a line of people:

Man: So how you been?
Teller: Oh, fine.
Man: Just fine? I saw you out last week with your boyfriend Hank.
Teller: My boyfriend’s name isn’t Hank.
Man: Oh well, he sure looks like a Hank.

Inbound Bus Stop, Fifth/Bigelow, Oakland.
A grizzled middle-aged man with a PING golf hat and a book of Boolean algebra rants to no one in particular:

Crazy Man: Gooood RIDDANCE! to another ineffective person…I’ll bet you think the world is FLAT!…Standing on a point in four directions…Now, even mariners can judge…

— Overheard by Zyzzy

Starbucks, Duquesne University.
Two female college students are standing near the windows:
College Girl #1: My eye is really itchy all of a sudden. I hope I’m not getting pink eye.
College Girl #2: Happy New Years!
College Girl #1: What?!
College Girl #2: Oh my God. My brain isn’t working anymore. I need a break.

— Overheard by Student Extraordinaire

Office, South Side:

Mindless Receptionist: Then what happened?
Soul-Sucking Intern: I woke up and there was something in my mouth.

— Overheard by Sah Side Struggle

Urban Outfitters, Southside Works. Friday Night.Short Girl: Oh my god, does heartburn hurt here? [touches her chest]
Giant Dude: Um, yeah.
Short Girl: I think I have heartburn!  I had it once in 2001.  I think it comes from my mom’s side of the family.

Oh my god, does heartburn hurt here? [touches her chest] Um, yeah. I think I have heartburn!  I had it once in 2001.  I think it comes from my mom’s side of the family.— Overheard by coreyw

Principles of Economics Class, Doherty Lecture Hall, CMU.
Lottery numbers for all the students are listed on either side of the room, A to L on the left, M to Z on the right:

Student #1: [yells to student entering room] YO CORNBREAD! YOU’RE ON THE LEFT!!
Student #2: Wait. What are you talking about? His last name is Roberts.
Student #1: Oh right! I was thinking that his last name was Bread from calling him Cornbread.

71A Inbound. 10 a.m.:

Loud Woman on Cell Phone: Oh, wait, it’s not Duquesne Light.
—Well, I can’t say it, but it’s spelled D-U-Q-U-E-S-N-E.
—Ohhh!

Bruegger’s Bagels, Moon Township A middle-aged Catholic lady approaches the bagel counter. The man in front of her in line is a priest, complete with Roman collar.

Lady: Do you have anything meatless?
Bagel Maker: You mean like bagels?

[The lady orders a breakfast sandwich.]

Lady: Wait… I don’t know if I want the egg. Are eggs OK for Lent?
Bagel Maker: I really don’t know. Probably?
Priest: Excuse me. It’s a matter of debate, but I think they’re fine.
Lady: Are you sure? How do you know?

— Overheard by Darwin Police

Caribou Coffee, Fortbes Ave, Oakland. Late Afternoon.
Students are scattered around the coffee shop seating, socializing and studying. Outside, a war protest is forming in front of the army recruiters office, which is in between Qdoba and Kinkos:

Barista #1: [to Barista #2] Hey! They’re protesting again!
Barista #2: Where at?
Barista #1: Outside! Come look!
[Barista #2 walks over and looks outside, pauses]
Barista #2: [confused] Why are they always protesting Kinkos?
Barista #1: [looking at the confused look on Barista #2’s face] Are you serious?
Barista #2: They’re always outside of Kinkos!
[…]
Barista #1: They’re outside the Army Recruiters office.
Barista #2: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! … Damn Kinkos.

Minutes later:

Barista #2: [marching around behind the bar] I HATE KINKOS! I HATE KINKOS! I HATE KINKOS!

— Overheard by CoffeeHouseLounge