Overheard in Pittsburgh

500 Inbound. Evening.
Two disheveled men are talking loudly about cocaine:

Disheveled Man #1: You know where it started don’t you? Cocaine? THE DOCTORS!
Disheveled Man #2: The doctors? You don’t say.
Disheveled Man #1: Yeah, I seen it on the Discovery Channel or the History Channel or some shit. But yeah, man, it was the doctors. All those rich people went to the doctors for the good stuff, and they gave it to them. The doctors.

Starbucks, Forbes Ave, Oakland.
Three large Christian youth groups in matching t-shirts enter, and the vast majority orders Frappuccinos. After about 20 minutes, the Lutheran group leaves:

Christian Youth Councilor: [to another] Fucking Lutherans.

Inbound Bus Stop, Fifth/Bigelow, Oakland.
A grizzled middle-aged man with a PING golf hat and a book of Boolean algebra rants to no one in particular:

Crazy Man: Gooood RIDDANCE! to another ineffective person…I’ll bet you think the world is FLAT!…Standing on a point in four directions…Now, even mariners can judge…

— Overheard by Zyzzy

Principles of Economics Class, Doherty Lecture Hall, CMU.
Lottery numbers for all the students are listed on either side of the room, A to L on the left, M to Z on the right:

Student #1: [yells to student entering room] YO CORNBREAD! YOU’RE ON THE LEFT!!
Student #2: Wait. What are you talking about? His last name is Roberts.
Student #1: Oh right! I was thinking that his last name was Bread from calling him Cornbread.

Restroom, Buffalo Blues, Shadyside:

White Girl in Stall #1: Bring back the Decade!
White Girl in Stall #2: Which decade would you bring back?
White Girl in Stall #1: You know, like the `50s. That’d be a good one to bring back. White Girl in Stall #2: I say bring `em all back!

White Girls leave stalls, laughing and wash their hands.

Drunk Black Woman in Stall #3: She said bring ‘em ALLLL back! We be in 1870 wearing ruffled shirts! We be like pirates and shit!!

67F Outbound, leaving Pitt Campus:
Woman: [pointing to the footbridge over Forbes Ave.] When did they build that?
Man: It’s always been there. Look, it says on it, “Established 1787.”

Social Services Agency Office, East Liberty:

The Office Brain: I’m gonna go get me some of the I-talian ice cream ‘cuz I really like history.

— Overheard by steele skillz

Market Square, Downtown:

Man #1: When we went to Alcatraz we sat on Al Capone’s toilet.
Man #2: Did it still work?

— Overheard by Keystone

Mon Incline, Mt. Washington:

Tourist Mother: [to her children] Now, they built the inclines to get away from the Johnstown flood.

Near the Kaufmann’s Clock, Steelers Victory Rally, Downtown.
Two 20-Something Office Yinzers follow the parade and discuss the team’s future:

Office Yinzer #1: You know, that’d be nice if we were the first team to win six.
Office Yinzer #2: Yeah, then we’d be able to say we were the first team to win six!