Overheard in Pittsburgh

Bus Stop, Murray / Forward, Squirrel Hill. Five minutes until the 61C arrives.
The weather is sunny, and the temperature is in the mid-30s:

Old Man: That bus won’t come!
—Makes me mad…
—That dumb blazin’ bus won’t show up! We’re gonna get frostbite waitin’ out here!
—Maybe they’re not runnin’…
—Maybe they’ll send another one?
—That dadgum bus!
—Makes me mad…
[The bus appears at the crest of the hill. A line of cars at the light holds it back.]
Old Man: Why won’t those cars move? [waves arm] Move, cars!
[A group of even older old people turn and look at him incredulously. The intersection finally clears, and the bus pulls up.]
Senile Old Man: [to the driver] Is this bus overcrowded? Are there seats?
Driver of Nearly Empty Bus: [answering first question] No.
Old Man: Aw, never mind, then.
[Senile Old Man shuffles away]

— Overheard by Zyzzy

86B Outbound. Late Afternoon:

Young Woman #1: [holding young boy] I took my son to be vaccinated today, but it ended up taking all day.
Young Woman #2: Really? Why’d it take the whole day?
Young Woman #1: I couldn’t remember how to spell his name, so I had to go back home to get his birth certificate.

61C Outbound, near Mercy Hospital, Soho.
A young woman stands, giving the whole bus a clear, sunlit view of her figure through her skirt:

Teen Boy: [to friend] Hey! Take a look at those nutritious facts!

— Overheard by Connor

Apartment, Friendship.
A commercial for First-On™, from the makers of Head-On™ comes on TV:

College Girl: STOP MAKING ONS!

— Overheard by Lady Jane

Giant Eagle Shopping Center, South side.
A man and a woman are walking with their little girl, who is crying:

Mom: [to little girl] You’re fine! You just tripped!
Dad: [to little girl]  You spent all day at the Science Center and you didn’t care at all about gravity. Gravity does serious stuff to you when you fall down. It fucks you up!

— Overheard by cate!

Crowded 61F Outbound:

Girl on Cell: So, what you want to do tonight?
—You can’t have alcoholbecause you’re on that diet, right?
—Well, how about vodka? It’s almost like water.

Computer Lab, Carnegie Mellon.
A girl has just finished a loud cell phone conversation:

Guy: So what’s [Student Health Services] say?
Girl: Apparently, “if you’re not willing to skip class to make an appointment, then you must not really be sick.”

— Overheard by Ka-CHANG

Overheard in Pittsburgh FunFact™: Carnegie Mellon’s Student Health Services hates you.

Ellis School, Shadyside:

Teacher: You know what the best thing is about having a baby? These boobs are huge.
Student: So much for the joys of motherhood, huh?

— Overheard by Shoppy

Subway, Quaker Valley Shopping Center, Leetsdale:

Middle-Aged Black Lady: [pointing at the guy behind her in line] Oh you go ahead, honey, I’ma get eight sandwiches.
Sandwich Artist: Oh yeah?  That’s a lot of food.  You having company?
Black Lady: Oh child, I got five kids and a fat husband.

First day of class for 85-251, “Personality,” at Carnegie Mellon:

Guy #1: Why’re you taking a class on personality? You don’t have one.
Guy #2: That’s why I’m taking it. I’m learning how to get one.
— Overheard by Ka-CHANG