Overheard in Pittsburgh

Saxonburg Carnival, Saxonburg:

Girl #1: My boss always calls me at home when I take a day off.
Girl #2: I’m glad my boss doesn’t call me on my day off because I’m usually, like, in court.

Craig St., Oakland.
Two Store owners are shoveling snow off of their respective sidewalks:

Store Owner #1: Where’s the city with the salt for the roads and sidewalks?
Store Owner #2: Mmmhmmm.
Store Owner #1: We’d have been better off paying our taxes to Columbus and asking them to mail us some.

— Overheard by Connor

Bus Stop, Blvd. of the Allies / Market, Downtown:

Thirty-Something Professional Guy: [on cell phone] There’s a helicopter over Downtown; something must be up. I just farted — maybe they think there’s another natural gas leak.

— Overheard by AlwaysReporting

Lobby, Lothrop Hall, Pitt Campus.
Two Black Girls in parkas and tight jeans are discussing a friend:

Girl #1: And you know what she did!?
Girl #2: No, what?
Girl #1: She threw a bucket of ice water in his car!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, and she got two years in jail for it!

[Both sign in and resume the conversation in the elevator:]

Girl #2: Two years in jail?
Girl #1: Yeah. Two years in jail! THE GOVERNMENT IS NAH CH’YOUR FRIEND!
Girl #2: I knew’d it.

[Both laugh hysterically for the next 4 floors.]

— Overheard by Joshua Demaree

Across from Barnes and Noble, Murray Ave., Squirrel Hill:

Thug on a Cell Phone: Well, you know man, I got a bad back ‘cuz I got tazed by the PO-lice.

EBO Outbound:

Bus Driver: Wilkinsburg Park and Ride: Where you can ride and not park at all or park
and not ride at all! Port Authority offers you options!

28X Inbound, 6:30 a.m.
Most of the passengers have just arrived on the San Francisco Red-eye:

Passenger #1: Yeah, PAT is totally threatening to cut the 28X.
Passenger #2: What the fuck? That’s the only bus I ever use. That’s the most important line they have!
Passenger #1: It’s totally not going to happen, though. The transit authority keeps spending all its money, then threatening to shut down half its routes, then it gets another emergency band-aid bond passed, and finally it lays low for about six months until it runs out of money again.

PAT is kind of like Pennsylvania’s Iraq War.

Passenger #2: …Does that make us insurgents?

— Overheard by Connor

500 Inbound, Shadyside.
An attractive couple dressed in a tuxedo and an evening gown gets on the bus:

Bus Driver: I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to pick you up or
not. You look like you were standing on Rodeo Drive in Hollywood, but I’ll
tell you what: This ain’t no Rodeo Drive; this is Fifth Avenue in
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania!

* Overheard in Pittsburgh TrueFact™: Pittsburgh’s parking tax is the highest in the country. Have fun working downtown!

Side of a Moving Van, Regent Square.
Hours after the State Announced the Slots License Winner:

— Seen by ambrose

61B Inbound:

Lady: I don’t think they should do anything to Downtown. We don’t need no redevelopmend Downtown. It’s fine the way it is.
Man: Yeah. You know what? Downtown development only benefits those who’ve put money into it. It’s just a way to make money. And that benefits the minority. And you know who the minority is? The majority.
Lady: That’s right.

 — Overheard by Smokey