Overheard in Pittsburgh

N. Craig St., Oakland.
Two large Catholic school girls are walking slowly, taking up the entire sidewalk. A few people have lined up behind them:

Girl #1: So I left without her. I told her she was too slow.
Girl #2: Mmmmhmmm.

Office, East Liberty. Early Morning:

Clerk: Man, we have got to have the weirdest paperboy around.
Janitor: You should see the deformed midget who delivers the Wall Street Journal!

— Overheard by corey w.

Hamburg Hall, CMU:

CMU Student #1: She’s such a great friend!
CMU Student #2: Yeah, well, she thinks she is. Sometimes I just feel like she’s trying to bribe me.
CMU Student #1: Yeah, but do you know she got me for my birthday?

— Overheard by Iceberg

Lobby, Lothrop Hall, Pitt Campus.
Two Black Girls in parkas and tight jeans are discussing a friend:

Girl #1: And you know what she did!?
Girl #2: No, what?
Girl #1: She threw a bucket of ice water in his car!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, and she got two years in jail for it!

[Both sign in and resume the conversation in the elevator:]

Girl #2: Two years in jail?
Girl #1: Yeah. Two years in jail! THE GOVERNMENT IS NAH CH’YOUR FRIEND!
Girl #2: I knew’d it.

[Both laugh hysterically for the next 4 floors.]

— Overheard by Joshua Demaree

TV Production Class, University Center, Point Park. Early Morning.
Two blondes in the front row swap stories about a friend who attends IUP:
Blonde #1: I worry about her. I just don’t know what to do with her sometimes.
Blonde #2: Is she in a sorority?
Blonde #1: No, she’s just stupid.

— Overheard by Point Park Student

Philosophy Class, Cathedral of Learning, Pitt Campus.
Two Students discuss a female student in a different class:

Student #1: She’s old — like, old old.
Student #2: Old old?
Student #1: Like, older than our parents old.
Student #2: Ah, grandma old.
Student #1: Like, in between— like, in-between parents old and grandma old.

— Overheard by Dan

Escalator, Barnes and Noble, Squirrel Hill. Sunday afternoon.

College Nerdy Chick: [to two friends] So his wife went to Europe, and while she was away… He got their baby a vasectomy!
Friends: No way!

— Overheard by vin