Overheard in Pittsburgh

Loews Cineplex, Waterfront. Evening.
Both Eragon and The Pursuit of Happyness showing in preview screenings in adjacent theaters, and people are becoming confused about which one they need. A man wanders into the theater for the Eragon screening and then bumps around, lost:

Woman: Are you looking for Happyness?
Man: I gave up looking for happiness years ago. Now I’m just trying to find my friends.

— Overheard by Rob of UnSpace

Carnegie Library, Oakland.
One Janitor tells another the plot of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol:

Janitor #1: The first ghost was named “Pinkie”, and he beat the crap out of death.
Janitor #2: Aaah…

Bell Street Station, West Busway, Carnegie:

Fat Guy to Friend: Well, shoo-fly pie is what I grew up with, so we’re definitely getting at least two: one for me, and one for me to share with you.

— Overheard by M. Davies

Kings Family Restaurant, Waterworks. 2 a.m. Friday Night.
A large group of college-aged kids are sitting together in the worst Kings restaurant ever*:

Supercool: We were like, “Andy, you didn’t snort the whole line.” So he’s like, *unh* [shrugs and mimes snorting a line]. And he snorts the rest of the line.
[The table erupts with laughter.]
Supercool: Then he runs to the bathroom, and when he comes out, he has a Kleenex™, and there’s little bits of cinnamon in it.
And he says, “I can’t believe I just snorted all the cinnamon!”

* Overheard in Pittsburgh Rant: Seriously, though, I have eaten there several times late at night, and I usually split the hour it takes for my food to arrive between doing the waitress’ job for her and wondering how soon it will be until I get to be assaulted by the physically and verbally aggressive Cro-Mag yinzers in the smoking section. I implore you: Avoid this place after dark; it’s scarier than the Original Hot Dog Shoppe. You might get shot at the O, but at least your food’s hot. Thank you for your time.

61B, Oakland:

JumpStart Chick #1: So she just ran up to me and hugged me, and she was like, “Oh my god! I haven’t seen you in so long!” And I was like “Um … I don’t like you.” And it was weird ’cause the guy who was with her, he seemed like a nice guy; he had a look on his face like he was saying, “I’m sorry.” So I was like, “I’m sorry too.”
She was warm, but it was still kind of creepy.
JumpStart Chick #2: Wait: She was warm?
JumpStart Chick #1: Yeah, I’ve been chilly ever since I’ve had this cold.
JumpStart Chick #2: Oh. Right…
[...]
JumpStart Chick #1: Do you think I’m pleasant? I think everyone should be pleasant.

— Overheard by M. Davies

Forbes / Shady, Squirrel Hill.
A small dog sits on a bench, wagging its tail next to a woman in her 50s:

Woman: STOP VIBRATING!
[Dog continues to wag.]
Woman: YOU HEARD ME!

— Overheard by M. Davies