Overheard in Pittsburgh

61C Inbound, Squirrel Hill. Morning.

Woman #1: Where’d you buy that [body glitter]?
Woman #2: Oh, I got this from a nudie bar — I mean that adult bookstore in Monroeville. Pretty much anywhere that sells dildoes sells body glitter.

— Overheard by mp

Forbes Ave, Squirrel Hill:

Teenage Girl #1: [describing being in a car accident] So, now I freak out whenever I see a car turning a corner.
Teenage Girl #2: You’re traumatized! That’s so cute!

Liquor Store near Whole Foods, East Liberty:

College Girl: [to friend] It’s not a date; I’ll be wearing my pajama bottoms the whole time.

— Overheard by Robbie

CVS, Wood St, Downtown
A flamboyant male college student and his female friend are loitering just inside the entrance:

Flamboyant Guy: Uh-uh. That cashier gave me a ‘tude.
Girl: What? Oh, because of your gift card?
Flamboyant Guy: Yeah, I was like, “Shoot, just because you’re 40 and working at CVS don’t mean ya gotta take it out on the attractive people — like me.”

Target, McKnight Road, North Hills.
A young husband and wife are with their three children, two boys about four or five years old and a little girl about six. The boys are each holding a small, colorful plastic handbag, meant to carry a child’s lunch:

Boy #1: Are these bags or purses?
Girl: Purses.
Boy #1: [ecstatic] Look at our purses!
Dad: Ahhh, I don’t know if…
Boy #1: We’re gonna get purses!  Look at our pretty purses! 

[The family walks away, Boy #1 skipping and swinging his purse.]
— Overheard by VertigoXpress

House Party Full of 25-30-Year-Olds, Shadyside.
A blonde girl pulls her black winter coat with fake fur trim around the
hood from the coat pile:

Blonde Girl: [after considering her coat, turns to two random girls] I think my coat is made of dogs; no animal looks like this.

[The girls stare blankly as the blonde girl walks away.]

— Overheard by teri

* Not kidding.

Outside the Cathedral of Learning, Pitt Campus.
An expensively dressed college girl in enormous high-heeled boots talks loudly on her cell phone:

Fancy Girl: [extremely concerned] I swear, every time I wear high heels, my teeth hurt. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me.

— Overheard by Tom VanBuren

DEP Regional Office Building, Liberty Ave, Downtown.
Two warmly dressed employees are standing in front of the windows. Outside, A man in khaki shorts walks by:

Man: That man has shorts on, and it’s cold out!
Woman: He must have gone to Duquesne.

— Overheard by vivie

Beehive, South Side.
A nerdy, bearded man sits by himself, enthralled in his laptop when three more nerds join him:

Beard Nerd: YO, MAN! You totally gave me the WRONG SPELL for Warcraft! I’M STILL AT THE SAME LEVEL!
Nerd Friend #1: Don’t yell at me for not being able to attain Warcraft greatness.
Nerd Friend #2: Hey, guys. My new girlfriend? She keeps getting on me for being a gamer. Like, come on! It’s a part of me. She’s really great though: She’s funny.
Nerd Friend #3: Well, dude, if she won’t actively participate in World of Warcraft with her man, then she’s gotta go. Make her a gamer, or she’s gotta go.

Women’s Restroom, near the Lobby, Marriott, Downtown.
A heavy-set, frizzy-haired woman in a flannel shirt, hiking boots and no pants stands at the air hand-drier:

Woman: [announcing to no one in particular] I’m trying to get the blood stains out of my pants!

— Overheard by Lynne