Overheard in Pittsburgh

Computer Lab, Carnegie Mellon.
A girl has just finished a loud cell phone conversation:

Guy: So what’s [Student Health Services] say?
Girl: Apparently, “if you’re not willing to skip class to make an appointment, then you must not really be sick.”

— Overheard by Ka-CHANG

Overheard in Pittsburgh FunFact™: Carnegie Mellon’s Student Health Services hates you.

Nature of Language (Linguistics 101) Class, Carnegie Mellon.
The professor is attempting to show the difference between British English and American English, specifically that the British drop their Rs in certain places:

Professor: Could everyone try to be British and say this word: “Beers”.
Class: Be-as! Be-as!
Loud Girl in Back: IT’S PRONOUNCED “STOUT”!

— Overheard by Connor

Ellis School, Shadyside:

Teacher: You know what the best thing is about having a baby? These boobs are huge.
Student: So much for the joys of motherhood, huh?

— Overheard by Shoppy

Men’s Room, Third Floor, Cathedral of Learning, Oakland.
After brushing his teeth and washing his face, a stubbly, disheveled middle-aged man shuffles out:

Haggard Dude: [in the hallway, murmuring] Stupid bitch!

— Overheard by Zyzzy

Lower-Level Math Class, Doherty Hall, CMU campus:

Professor: Come on, even the Pitt kids would get this one.

— Overheard by egg

First day of class for 85-251, “Personality,” at Carnegie Mellon:

Guy #1: Why’re you taking a class on personality? You don’t have one.
Guy #2: That’s why I’m taking it. I’m learning how to get one.
— Overheard by Ka-CHANG

Wean Hall, Carnegie Mellon. A few minutes before a recitation is about to start, weeks into the semester:

Confused Guy: [poking his head in the door] ‘ey, is this econ theory?
[Several people tell him that it's not.]
Confused Guy: What the hell? [walking away] I coulda SWORN….

— Overheard by Ka-CHANG

Lobby, Lothrop Hall, Pitt Campus.
Two Black Girls in parkas and tight jeans are discussing a friend:

Girl #1: And you know what she did!?
Girl #2: No, what?
Girl #1: She threw a bucket of ice water in his car!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, and she got two years in jail for it!

[Both sign in and resume the conversation in the elevator:]

Girl #2: Two years in jail?
Girl #1: Yeah. Two years in jail! THE GOVERNMENT IS NAH CH’YOUR FRIEND!
Girl #2: I knew’d it.

[Both laugh hysterically for the next 4 floors.]

— Overheard by Joshua Demaree

In Line for Pasta Plus, Peterson Events Center, Pitt Campus :

College Guy #1: Hey, man, whatcha doing tonight?
College Guy #2: Oh, you know, man: I got a lotta work. I’m probably going to read for a long time.
College Guy #1: Yeah, me too.
College Guy #2: Then watch some TV. Then rub, like, three out.
College Guy #1: Yeah, man. I hear you.

Intro to Economics Class, Cathedral of Learning:

Econ Professor: So how would you then find the area of the rectangular?
Student: Length times width.
Econ Professor: No. For the rectangular, it’s one half times length times width.
Student: Isn’t that a triangle?
Econ Professor: Yes. So now that we have this area…