Overheard in Pittsburgh

Aldi, Etna.
Two elderly women are shopping, and one is trying to reach a bag of Werther’s Original candies from a high shelf.  A younger woman walks over to help her get the bags:

Elderly Woman: Can you get me one of the bags with the red label?  Actually, make it two, no, wait, three.  My husband eats these like candy.

— Overheard by Megan

Starbucks, Forbes Ave, Oakland.
Three large Christian youth groups in matching t-shirts enter, and the vast majority orders Frappuccinos. After about 20 minutes, the Lutheran group leaves:

Christian Youth Councilor: [to another] Fucking Lutherans.

N. Craig St., Oakland.
Two large Catholic school girls are walking slowly, taking up the entire sidewalk. A few people have lined up behind them:

Girl #1: So I left without her. I told her she was too slow.
Girl #2: Mmmmhmmm.

Post Office, Pleasant Hills.
A blonde girl in a Volvo is backing out at the same time as several other cars.

Volvo Driver: UM, HELLO?!?! SATURN?!?! Are you going to back into my… VOLVO?!?! JESUS CHRIST!!!

JFK Airport, New York City.
Airplane passengers are waiting for their flight to Pittsburgh. A 20-something girl walks up to gate, sits on the floor with her bags and eats pizza:

Yinzer Man: [gesturing to an empty seat next to him] You can sit right here, if you want.
Girl: [shakes head] That’s okay, I’m fine.
Yinzer Wife: It’s OK; we don’t bite!
Girl: [shakes head again and keeps eating]
Man: [to Yinzer Man] Hey, can I sit here?
Yinzer Man: [glaring at Girl] Sure you can: SHE doesn’t want it!

Bryce Jordan Center, Penn State University. After the Schenley-Chester PIAA AAAA Championship Basketball Game.
A pair of black teenage girls dressed in the Schenley red and black pass a small group of dejected Chester fans in black and orange:

Girl #1: Take them Halloween colors back to Chester! , nigga! BOO!!— Overheard by get ‘em, spartans!

61C Outbound, near Mercy Hospital, Soho.
A young woman stands, giving the whole bus a clear, sunlit view of her figure through her skirt:

Teen Boy: [to friend] Hey! Take a look at those nutritious facts!

— Overheard by Connor

Women’s Restroom, Hilton Hotel, Downtown. During an Insurance Convention:

Middle-Aged Woman #1: Wait, you can’t go in there; that’s the handicapped stall.
Middle-Aged Woman #2: Honey, we’re all handicapped in our own way.

— Overheard by Rorge

Bus Stop, Forbes / Bigelow, Oakland:
A 20-something Asian girl with a cello case taller than she is strapped to her back approaches the driver of a stopped bus:

Cello Girl: Does this bus go to Heinz Hall?
Bus Driver: There is only one way to get to Heinz Hall.  Practice, practice, practice.
Cello Girl: Which bus is that?

— Overheard by BiggAndyy

Jennie King Mellon Library, Chatham College.
The girl behind the desk is blatantly checking Facebook:

Blonde Patron: Excuse me, um, can I get a book?
Girl at Desk: Nope, fresh out.

[Girl at Desk turns back to Facebook and types.]

— Overheard by sexylibrarian