Overheard in Pittsburgh

Botany Lab, Carnegie Museum of Natural History, Oakland.
Preschool-aged children are taking part in a behind-the-scenes class:

Botanist: So what did everyone have for breakfast this morning? I bet most of you ate some plants for breakfast this morning.
Little Boy: I had waffles!
Botanist: And those are made from wheat, which is a plant.
Red-Haired Girl in a Fancy Pink Dress: I didn’t eat plants.
Botanist: Well, what did you eat this morning?
Red-Haired Girl: Cheerios and a banana.
Botanist: [cheerful, supportive tone] And Cheerios are made from grains, which grow on plants. And bananas are plants too.
Red-Haired Girl: [stamping her patent leather shoes] I DON’T EAT PLANTS!
Red-Haired Girl’s Mom: Shhh, now honey, yes you do.
Botanist: And how about what we’re all wearing? Lots of our clothes are made from cotton, which grows on a plant! And without plants, you wouldn’t have been able to drive here to see me today because tires have rubber in them, and rubber comes from the rubber tree whi—
Red-Haired Girl: I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!!!
Red-Haired Girl’s Mom: OK, that’s enough. [She grabs her daughter by the hand and
leads her out.]

Eighth Ave, Homestead.
A man is walking with four children. The youngest is dragging a stick, absent-mindedly hitting everything with which it comes in contact:

Man: [to youngest child] You better not start crying. If you start crying, I’ll kick you in the face.

— Student Extraordinare

Liberty-Smithfield Garage, Downtown. Palm Sunday Morning.
Two boys, fresh out of Palm Sunday services with Palm branches, swat one another with the palms:

Mother: Young men, those are not swords!
Boy #1: Swords!
Boy #2: We’re not men! We’re women!

— Overheard by AlwaysReporting

Eat ‘N’ Park, Squirrel Hill:

Middle-Aged Woman #1: I spent the weekend moving my grandfather into assisted living.
Middle-Aged Woman #2: How old is he?
Middle-Aged Woman #1: He’s a hundred and one. He quit smoking two years ago for health reasons.

SportsWorks, Carnegie Science Center. North Shore. Tuesday Afternoon.
Two boys and two girls from a school group, all around seven years old, are sitting on a bench:

Boy #1: Eeeeeewwwwww!!! You have to sit next to two blondes!
Boy #2: So?
Boy #1: Blondes are disgusting!!

Home Furnishings Department, Target, Waterfront. Afternoon.
A young mother shops with her toddler in the front seat of a shopping cart. The young child is crying hysterically:

Toddler:  I…want…to…diiiiiieee!

— Overheard by corey w.

Petco, Waterworks.
A man is retrieving his newly engraved pet ID tag from the machine:

Seven-Year-Old Boy: Ooh, look, they have a Spongebob tag!
Mother: Oh, you didn’t get Spongebob! You should have gotten Spongebob!
Man: No, my dogs like the other shows.

86B Outbound. Late Afternoon:

Young Woman #1: [holding young boy] I took my son to be vaccinated today, but it ended up taking all day.
Young Woman #2: Really? Why’d it take the whole day?
Young Woman #1: I couldn’t remember how to spell his name, so I had to go back home to get his birth certificate.

Health and Wellness Section, Sam’s Club, Robinson.
A large 40-something woman holding a twin-pack of tampons stops pushing her buggy and turns to her pre-teen son:

Woman: SO WHAT? I’m allowed to shop here. I paid $40 for my membership like everyone else. She can kiss my ass and go to hell!

[The son blushes and looks embarrassed.]

Giant Eagle Shopping Center, South side.
A man and a woman are walking with their little girl, who is crying:

Mom: [to little girl] You’re fine! You just tripped!
Dad: [to little girl]  You spent all day at the Science Center and you didn’t care at all about gravity. Gravity does serious stuff to you when you fall down. It fucks you up!

— Overheard by cate!