Overheard in Pittsburgh

Fifth Ave Near Tower C, Oakland:
College Guy and College Girl are walking, his arm around her. A Drunk Black Man walks up to them:

Drunk Man: You better hold onto her.
College Guy: I will.
Drunk Man: I ain’t never had a white woman. I’ve had my kind, but no Chinese, neither. You better hang onto her.
College Guy: Yessir.

Women’s Restroom, near the Lobby, Marriott, Downtown.
A heavy-set, frizzy-haired woman in a flannel shirt, hiking boots and no pants stands at the air hand-drier:

Woman: [announcing to no one in particular] I’m trying to get the blood stains out of my pants!

— Overheard by Lynne

Parking Lot, South Hills Village Mall.
A Middle-Aged Woman stands extremely close to a toothless Old Woman’s face:

Middle-Aged Woman: Do you want to go hoooooooooome?
Old Woman: Oh yeah, shur. Thah sounds gud.
Middle-Aged Woman: You don’t know what you want, gooooddaaamn it!

— Overheard by Jazz

Apartment Building Lobby, Craig St., Oakland:
Dude #1: [to Dude #2] Come on, man: Sexuality is just a social construction!
— Overheard by m.j.

Fish Counter, Giant Eagle Market District, Center Ave:

Middle-Aged Woman: So, I can just bake those and they’re ready, right?
Fishmonger: Yep, at nine hundred fifty degrees for four days.
Middle-Aged Woman: Riiiight.
[...]
Fishmonger: So what’re you gonna tell your guests you’re making?
Middle-Aged Woman: Reservations!  Ha!

— Overheard by Kevin

Carmike Maxi-Saver, West Mifflin.
A Father and Daughter exit the cinema. The Father holds the door open for his wife and younger son while the Daughter reacts to news of dinner:
Chubby, Red-Haired Young Daughter: Oh! Pizza! I love pizza! I go like this: [mimes reaching out and scooping big clumps of pizza into her maw] Mmm! Pizza pizza pizza! Mmm! Pizza pizza pizza!
Uncomfortable Father: [looking around] OK, stop that.