Yinzers

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Wed 8 Feb 2006

Condiments are Preciouser

Posted by Chris Griswold under Arguments, Children, Parents & Grandparents, Food & Drink, Squirrel Hill, Tragedy & Horror, Yinzers
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Restaurant, Squirrel Hill.
A young, tired-looking woman is paying at the cash register:

Young Yinzer Dude: [Shuffling to the counter] Hey, do yinz have any mayo packets?
Tired Young Woman: [Looks horrified] STAY WITH THE BABY!
[Everyone looks across the room to see an unattended baby carrier sitting on the floor.]

Young Yinzer Dude shuffles back.

Tired Young Woman: [mumbling] Jesus…some dad…

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Wed 8 Feb 2006

Apparently, “yinz” has a singular form.

Posted by Chris Griswold under Arguments, Attraction, Love & Sex, Travel and Transportation, Work, Yinzers
[2] Comments

BP Station, Murray & Forward, Squirrel Hill:

Cashier Guy: Plus, Marissa gave me an easy out when she pulled her little stunt.
Loitering Friend: She willingly admitted that?
Cashier Guy: Yeah, I couldn’t believe it. I was just like, “Yin sleazebag! I never really believed in the meaning of the word ‘slut’ until I met you.”

— Overheard by M. Davies

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Tue 7 Feb 2006

Masters of the Obvious

Posted by Chris Griswold under Downtown, History, Intelligence, Sports, Work, Yinzers
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Near the Kaufmann’s Clock, Steelers Victory Rally, Downtown.
Two 20-Something Office Yinzers follow the parade and discuss the team’s future:

Office Yinzer #1: You know, that’d be nice if we were the first team to win six.
Office Yinzer #2: Yeah, then we’d be able to say we were the first team to win six!

The two pause in thought as a giant cardboard thumbs-up appears in the parade, sporting five Super Bowl™ rings.

Office Yinzer #2: Oh man, here comes a big thumb!!!

— Overheard by the fox

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Fri 30 Dec 2005

Enough about Nick and Jessica, woman!

Posted by Chris Griswold under Arts & Entertainment, Holidays, Shopping, Waterfront, Yinzers
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Christmas section, Target, Waterfront:

Middle-Aged Yinzer Guy: Tinkerbell?! NOW you’re talking about someone I wanna hear about!

— Submitted by foods

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Tue 6 Dec 2005

Overheard in Pittsburgh Life Lessons™: Know Your Audience

Posted by Chris Griswold under @ Hospital, Children, Parents & Grandparents, Life Lessons™, Oakland, Pittsburgh, Social Divisions, Sports, Yinzers
1 Comment

UPMC Admitting Room, Magee-Womens Hospital, Oakland.
Four Overweight Yinzers discuss names:

Young Yinzer Man: — Or Benjamin…
Young Yinzer Woman: That’d be a good name.
Old Yinzer Man: A good Steelers name!
Young Yinzer Man: Oh, like Roethlisberger!
Old Yinzer Woman: Or Jerome…
[Everyone stares at her silently.]
Old Yinzer Woman: …His middle name could be Bettis…
…
…Nickname him “The Bus”…
[Everyone continues to stare blankly.]

— Overheard by Ted Cook

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Mon 3 Oct 2005

Little did Jeff know how soon it would be a matter not of want, but of need.

Posted by Chris Griswold under Arts & Entertainment, Attraction, Love & Sex, Drinking, Drunks & Bars, Millvale, Yinzers
[2] Comments

Mr. Small’s Theatre, Millvale. Saturday Night:

40-Something Mulleted Yinzer Woman: You know, I don’t think you can find a bigger Def Leppard fan than me.
Clean-Cut 30-Something Man: I’m not really sure I want to.

— Overheard by Etzel

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Fri 16 Sep 2005

Poor Scott; his homophone troubles were only just beginning…

Posted by Chris Griswold under Downtown, Intelligence, Pittsburgh, Yinzers
No Comments

Gulf Tower, Dahntahn:

Yinzer: Is this the Golf Tower?
Smoking Woman: No, this is the Gulf Tower. [Points at the sign nearby that says "Gulf Tower"]
Yinzer: Well, do you know where the Golf Tower is at?
Smoking Woman: [In disbelief] I would imagine somewhere in Scotland.

— Overheard by Ben

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