Overheard in Pittsburgh

41D Inbound.
A yinzer in casual business attire is sitting, spread out, in the back of the bus, speaking to a 20-something woman, also in casual business attire:

Yinzer: Do they have a Starbucks in Station Square?
[Woman shakes her head.]
Yinzer: Why not?
Woman: Well, Station Square is surrounded by a lot of busy streets, so the backup in traffic it would cause is probably a problem. And there are a lot of Starbucks downtown, so they probably don’t need one in Station Square.
Yinzer: Tell you what: If I hit the lottery, that’s what I’d open!

— Overheard by ecto

Inbound Bus Stop, Fifth/Bigelow, Oakland.
A grizzled middle-aged man with a PING golf hat and a book of Boolean algebra rants to no one in particular:

Crazy Man: Gooood RIDDANCE! to another ineffective person…I’ll bet you think the world is FLAT!…Standing on a point in four directions…Now, even mariners can judge…

— Overheard by Zyzzy

JFK Airport, New York City.
Airplane passengers are waiting for their flight to Pittsburgh. A 20-something girl walks up to gate, sits on the floor with her bags and eats pizza:

Yinzer Man: [gesturing to an empty seat next to him] You can sit right here, if you want.
Girl: [shakes head] That’s okay, I’m fine.
Yinzer Wife: It’s OK; we don’t bite!
Girl: [shakes head again and keeps eating]
Man: [to Yinzer Man] Hey, can I sit here?
Yinzer Man: [glaring at Girl] Sure you can: SHE doesn’t want it!

Crowded Shuttle from the Gulf Tower to the Boardwalk Parking Lot in the Strip:

30-Something Woman #1: Yeah, so my sister set me up with this guy, and we’ve been dating for awhile, and he’s totally great, but he just told me last week that he doesn’t want to have kids.
30-Something Woman #2: Oh my god! That’s terrible. I know how much you want to have kids.
Woman #1: Yeah, and the weird thing is that when my sister set us up, she told me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she didn’t want to have kids.
Woman #2: That’s so weird.
Woman #1: Well I think I taught him a lesson: The other night we were going to see a movie, and he called and suggested that we go see Shrek the Third or Ocean’s 13 because he knew that I really wanted to see those. I knew that he hadn’t seen the first two Shreks or Ocean’s 11 or 12 though, so I suggested that we go see Pirates of the Carribean 3 instead because I knew he really wanted to see that. I hadn’t seen the first two Pirates movies, but a girl at work told me you don’t have to see the first two to enjoy the third. So we went to see Pirates 3, and afterward, he said to me, “Thank you so much for going to see Pirates. I really wanted to see it, and I know that you didn’t see the first two.” So I said, “Well, you know, realationships are about compromise, on big and small things.”
So now I think he might think a little bit more about having kids.

— Overheard by Ben

Starbucks, Duquesne University.
Two female college students are standing near the windows:
College Girl #1: My eye is really itchy all of a sudden. I hope I’m not getting pink eye.
College Girl #2: Happy New Years!
College Girl #1: What?!
College Girl #2: Oh my God. My brain isn’t working anymore. I need a break.

— Overheard by Student Extraordinaire

Office, South Side:

Mindless Receptionist: Then what happened?
Soul-Sucking Intern: I woke up and there was something in my mouth.

— Overheard by Sah Side Struggle

Carnegie Library, East Liberty.

An old man with shoe-polish-black hair is standing at a copier and crooning.

Old Man: [stops singing] Oops, can’t sing, it’s a library. [Sings a little more] I bet you think I’m singin’ `cause I’m happy, but I’m not. I’m singin’ `cause I’m half-broke and crazy.

— Overheard by coreyw

Urban Outfitters, Southside Works. Friday Night.Short Girl: Oh my god, does heartburn hurt here? [touches her chest]
Giant Dude: Um, yeah.
Short Girl: I think I have heartburn!  I had it once in 2001.  I think it comes from my mom’s side of the family.

Oh my god, does heartburn hurt here? [touches her chest] Um, yeah. I think I have heartburn!  I had it once in 2001.  I think it comes from my mom’s side of the family.— Overheard by coreyw

Outside Bathroom Door, Barry’s Pub, Carson St., South Side. St. Patrick’s Day.
A 20-Something Man who is dressed entirely in in green with leprechaun hat is talking on the cell phone:

Green Guy on Cell: No, dude: I’m at Barry’s. No, you have to come down. Yeah, I’ve been telling everyone you’re dead.

— Overheard by I Can’t Believe Shawn Michaels Tapped Out

Forbes Ave near Market Square, Downtown:

60-Something Male Flower Vendor: Hey, do you have a girlfriend?
College Guy: No.
Flower Vendor: …Do you have a boyfriend?
College Guy: Are you asking?
[...]
Flower Vendor: …No.

— Overheard by Connor