Overheard in Pittsburgh

Southside Works, South Side. Thursday night.
Five teenagers in costumes stand together, following the sneak preview of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix:

Boy in Cape: Dumbledore is so punk rock.
[Everyone nods in agreement.]

Between McDonald’s and Joe Mama’s, Forbes Ave, Oakland. Dusk.
Bill Dorsey, the blind gospel man with the vocal power of the Voice of God, is on the move, and as people awkwardly try to get out of his way, they bump into one another:

Dorsey: Watch out, folks! Got a blind man walking! ‘Scuse me, please, need you to move for me if you would!
[A skinny, geeky couple walks toward him and veers dangerously close to oncoming traffic to get out of his path,]
Geeky Girl: [mumbling] Geez, dude, watch where you’re going.
Dorsey: WELL, GIMME YO’ EYES AND I WILL!
[Geeky Girl’s jaw drops as she turns around.]

— Overheard by NoseyRosey

Beehive, South Side.
A nerdy, bearded man sits by himself, enthralled in his laptop when three more nerds join him:

Beard Nerd: YO, MAN! You totally gave me the WRONG SPELL for Warcraft! I’M STILL AT THE SAME LEVEL!
Nerd Friend #1: Don’t yell at me for not being able to attain Warcraft greatness.
Nerd Friend #2: Hey, guys. My new girlfriend? She keeps getting on me for being a gamer. Like, come on! It’s a part of me. She’s really great though: She’s funny.
Nerd Friend #3: Well, dude, if she won’t actively participate in World of Warcraft with her man, then she’s gotta go. Make her a gamer, or she’s gotta go.

Near the Purnell Center, CMU.
Two guys discuss the one’s ghost hunting adventure:

Guy #1: So, did you find anything that went bump in the night?
Guy #2: No, but there were plenty of things that went yawn in the night.

61C Outbound, Oakland:
Pitt Student #1: I have this project where I want to get a portrait of Darwin and put it in my house — like, over the fireplace with a nice frame.
Pitt Student #2: Or a bust!
Pitt Student #1: Yeah, a bust of Darwin! And then I’ll get one of Mr. T and put it right next to him!

— Overheard by Zyzzy

Elevator, Litchfield Tower C, Pitt Campus. After Midnight.
A forlorn, disheveled Student talks to his less-disheveled friend:

Student #1: Ugh.
Student #2: What?
Student #1: Stephen Colbert just directed his Nerd Army to attack Wikipedia again.
Student #2: What, really? He’s still doing stuff like that?
Student #1: Yeah, I don’t know; I guess telling his mindless drones to fuck up their school’s dictionaries wasn’t hilarious enough.
Student #2: Didn’t he used to make fun of guys like that? Is he making fun of his fans, or what? I mean, what’s his point?
Student #1: Yeah; I used to think that stuff was funny, but now it’s just kind of weird and sad. I’m kind of ready for him to be over now.
Student #2: Yeah.

— Overheard by I used to think he was funny too

Editor’s Note: I have loved Stephen Colbert’s work for a long time — Exit 57, Strangers with Candy, the Daily Show, and his current series — but I think this stuff’s a little done, too. At what point did Colbert stop merely mimicking the charismatic leaders of cult-like movements and actually become one? When does the cost of the joke exceed the payoff? I really wish Colbert would stop with the Rocky-Horror-Picture-Show-audience-participation biz would stop so I can feel OK about liking his series again. — Chris

Escalator, Barnes and Noble, Squirrel Hill. Sunday afternoon.

College Nerdy Chick: [to two friends] So his wife went to Europe, and while she was away… He got their baby a vasectomy!
Friends: No way!

— Overheard by vin

Social Psychology Class, Cathedral of Learning. Evening.
The Teacher advances to the next slide:

Teacher: And this brings us to the “Halo Effect”.
Dude #1: Halo! Awesome!
Dude #2: [sitting next to him] Dude, Halo is the BEST. Love Halo.
Dude #3: [across the aisle] HALOOOOOOO!

Starbucks, Forbes Ave, Oakland. Friday Night. 
A College Guy with braces says something funny, and his date, a College Girl with glasses spits out some coffee:

College Girl: [dabbing chin and neck with a napkin]: This is why you can’t buy me nice things.

— Overheard by Kate

Tutoring Lab, Library, Art Institute.
A Female Art Student is petting a Male Student’s head:

Female Art Student: You’re just like my cat.
Male Art Student: I’m very animal-like. I think my cat got it from me.

— Overheard by Rotzi