Overheard in Pittsburgh

Apartment Building Lobby, Craig St., Oakland:
Dude #1: [to Dude #2] Come on, man: Sexuality is just a social construction!
— Overheard by m.j.

Social Psychology Class, Cathedral of Learning. Evening.
The Teacher advances to the next slide:

Teacher: And this brings us to the “Halo Effect”.
Dude #1: Halo! Awesome!
Dude #2: [sitting next to him] Dude, Halo is the BEST. Love Halo.
Dude #3: [across the aisle] HALOOOOOOO!

Computer Lab, Posvar Hall, Pitt campus. 8 pm.
A Dude with a polo shirt and diamond studs in his ears is leaning back talking loudly on his cell phone to the dismay of the people trying to work. He is talking in a total dude voice:

Dude on Cell Phone: Why does this chick have my fuckin’ sweatpants?
— What, like she has a thing for sweatpants or something?
— Man, this girl has my fuckin’ Pitt ID and shit; I, like, can’t do shit on
campus.
— So, why in the hell does she have my sweatpants?
— So she wanted a pair of your sweatpants?
— I dunno man: this chick sounds weird.
— Then why did you give her MY fuckin’ sweat pants man? They’re, like, MY sweatpants.
— I know, but I dont want some random chick walking around in my sweatpants,
thinking they’re yours or something.
— Well, she’s gonna find out when she finds my Pitt ID.
— Alright, man. Just get me my fuckin’ sweatpants back; this chick sounds
weird.

— Overheard by: just trying to do her fuckin work

Forbes Ave, Pitt Campus, Oakland.
A group of students emerges from a Pitt cafeteria. One, a total Badass, is carrying half a hoagie in a bag:

Tall Black Panhandler: Say, kids: You got any extra change? I’m trying to get me a bus ticket.
Badass Student: Nah, man, sorry. I only use plastic.
Panhandler: How `bout that sandwich?

Lobby, Litchfield Towers, Pitt Campus:

Frat Boy #1: Felch?
Frat Boy #2: You don’t know what felching is?
Frat Boy #1: No…
Frat Boy #2: I’ll tell you after lunch.

Giant Eagle Marketplace, Shadyside:

Haggard Late-20s Guy: Hey, you know that chick I always thought was hot in college?
Cool Dude: Yeah?
Haggard Late-20s Guy: Well, I just saw her here. She looks like she’s gained weight, so she might actually be in my class now.
Cool Dude: Do it up, man.

— Overheard by the Olympic Park Bomber

Calculus Class, Langley Hall, Pitt Campus:
Professor: G of X is equal to F of U.
CoolDude #1: [laughing quietly, pleased with himself] F U!
CoolDude #2: [laughing hard] F U! I never would have thought of that!
—Overheard by Sophie

Meyran Street, South Oakland. Around midnight on a Tuesday.
A Drunk Asshole sits on his porch couch, playing a guitar and singing loudly to the tune of James Blunt’s “Beautiful”:

Drunk Asshole: You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, you’re beautiful, it’s true. I saw you walking across the street and I want to eat your ass.
Drunk College Girl in Miniskirt and Heels: [From across the street] Oh my god, you have such a good voice!
Drunk Asshole: Thanks.
College Girl: Seriously, that was reeealllly good.
Drunk Asshole: Hey. You wanna come over here? I’ll play some more.

College Girl crosses the street and sits with him on couch.

— Overheard by why do i live in South oakland?

Juliet St., South Oakland.
Four Frat Guys are on their way to a party:

Frat Guy #1: —pop it in her eye?
Frat Guy #2: No, I just squirted in her mouth and left.
[All four erupt in congratulatory, knowing laughter.]

—Overheard by Jack-o-Lantern

Forbes Avenue near Dithridge, Pitt Campus:

Macho College Guy: People will ask you if you sew; that’s like fucking tying your shoelaces.

— Overheard by Kelly