Overheard in Pittsburgh

Forbes Avenue, Oakland:

Guy: [to girl] I guess its sad that since I’m poor, nachos have become part of my monthly cycle.

Office, South Side:

Mindless Receptionist: Then what happened?
Soul-Sucking Intern: I woke up and there was something in my mouth.

— Overheard by Sah Side Struggle

Outside Bathroom Door, Barry’s Pub, Carson St., South Side. St. Patrick’s Day.
A 20-Something Man who is dressed entirely in in green with leprechaun hat is talking on the cell phone:

Green Guy on Cell: No, dude: I’m at Barry’s. No, you have to come down. Yeah, I’ve been telling everyone you’re dead.

— Overheard by I Can’t Believe Shawn Michaels Tapped Out

Campus Shuttle, University of Pittsburgh. Friday night.
The shuttle is full of loud, drunken college students:

Frat Boy: FACEBOOK ‘ER ‘N SHIT!

— Overheard by MLo

Principles of Economics Class, Doherty Lecture Hall, CMU.
Lottery numbers for all the students are listed on either side of the room, A to L on the left, M to Z on the right:

Student #1: [yells to student entering room] YO CORNBREAD! YOU’RE ON THE LEFT!!
Student #2: Wait. What are you talking about? His last name is Roberts.
Student #1: Oh right! I was thinking that his last name was Bread from calling him Cornbread.

61C Outbound, near Mercy Hospital, Soho.
A young woman stands, giving the whole bus a clear, sunlit view of her figure through her skirt:

Teen Boy: [to friend] Hey! Take a look at those nutritious facts!

— Overheard by Connor

Eddie’s Cafe, Litchfield Towers, Pitt Campus.
Two College Guys are waiting in the check-out line:

Guy #1: What are those birds that fucking talk?
Guy #2: Parrots?
Guy #1: No, that’s what my teacher said. [thinks] Ravens! That’s right.
Guy #2: Ravens talk? That’s like Edgar Allen Poe shit or something.
Guy #1: No, dude, they for real only say, like, one word ,though.

[…]

Guy #2: [imitating a raven] “Aquafina!?”
Guy #1: Yeah, dude! “Aquafina!” Only I’d make mine say, “Radiator.”

— Overheard by Joshua

Bru Lounge, North Shore. 9:30 Saturday Night.
A group of late-20s beer-and-wing guys are out with their girlfriends:

White Girl: Have you met his parents yet?
Indian Girl: Yeah. He introduced me as his “Durka Durka” — you know, like terrorists? And now that’s what his parents call me.
Boyfriend: Yeah, but we mean it in a funny way. And I mean, you did sign my Dad’s birthday card “Durka” afterward.
Indian Girl: [giggling] It’s just so funny: Like how typical white boy from Ohio can you get? And dating a foreigner!
Boyfriend: Oh, c’mon. I’ll make it up you. I’ll like… hug you… or open your car door or something.
Indian Girl: Yeah, he did offer to mail my dad a bag of Lay’s potato chips.

In Line for Pasta Plus, Peterson Events Center, Pitt Campus :

College Guy #1: Hey, man, whatcha doing tonight?
College Guy #2: Oh, you know, man: I got a lotta work. I’m probably going to read for a long time.
College Guy #1: Yeah, me too.
College Guy #2: Then watch some TV. Then rub, like, three out.
College Guy #1: Yeah, man. I hear you.

Upper Floor, Arby’s, Wood Street, Downtown.
A College Girl sits alone in a booth, talking on her cell phone:

College Girl: I was totally drunk that night. I know, I’m sorry. But I have a question. After everything I did, and all those things I said… Do you still think I’m sexy?
[long silence]
—Well…I guess I can live with that.

— Overheard by Bob M.