Overheard in Pittsburgh

N. Craig St., Oakland.
Two large Catholic school girls are walking slowly, taking up the entire sidewalk. A few people have lined up behind them:

Girl #1: So I left without her. I told her she was too slow.
Girl #2: Mmmmhmmm.

Crowded Shuttle from the Gulf Tower to the Boardwalk Parking Lot in the Strip:

30-Something Woman #1: Yeah, so my sister set me up with this guy, and we’ve been dating for awhile, and he’s totally great, but he just told me last week that he doesn’t want to have kids.
30-Something Woman #2: Oh my god! That’s terrible. I know how much you want to have kids.
Woman #1: Yeah, and the weird thing is that when my sister set us up, she told me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she didn’t want to have kids.
Woman #2: That’s so weird.
Woman #1: Well I think I taught him a lesson: The other night we were going to see a movie, and he called and suggested that we go see Shrek the Third or Ocean’s 13 because he knew that I really wanted to see those. I knew that he hadn’t seen the first two Shreks or Ocean’s 11 or 12 though, so I suggested that we go see Pirates of the Carribean 3 instead because I knew he really wanted to see that. I hadn’t seen the first two Pirates movies, but a girl at work told me you don’t have to see the first two to enjoy the third. So we went to see Pirates 3, and afterward, he said to me, “Thank you so much for going to see Pirates. I really wanted to see it, and I know that you didn’t see the first two.” So I said, “Well, you know, realationships are about compromise, on big and small things.”
So now I think he might think a little bit more about having kids.

— Overheard by Ben

Starbucks, Duquesne University.
Two female college students are standing near the windows:
College Girl #1: My eye is really itchy all of a sudden. I hope I’m not getting pink eye.
College Girl #2: Happy New Years!
College Girl #1: What?!
College Girl #2: Oh my God. My brain isn’t working anymore. I need a break.

— Overheard by Student Extraordinaire

Pitt Shuttle Stop, Top of Cardiac Hill, Oakland. Friday Night.
A drunk girl descends from the shuttle:

Drunk Girl: Um… yeah, hold on… my phone is in Spanish right now.

— Overheard by MLo

Forbes Ave, Squirrel Hill:

Teenage Girl #1: [describing being in a car accident] So, now I freak out whenever I see a car turning a corner.
Teenage Girl #2: You’re traumatized! That’s so cute!

Crowded 61F Outbound:

Girl on Cell: So, what you want to do tonight?
—You can’t have alcoholbecause you’re on that diet, right?
—Well, how about vodka? It’s almost like water.

Biochemistry class, Langley Hall, Pitt Campus:

Girl with Stuffy Nose: Do people still live in Iowa?!

— Overheard by Katrina

Cinema, AMC/Loews Waterfront.
The ads are running before a movie:

Nerdy Girl: I had a friend who mixed LSD and heroin. She lived, though.
Guy Friend: All I can say to her is, “Congratulations.”
Nerdy Girl: Yeah, she didn’t remember much of her freshman year of high school.

Chemistry Class, Doherty Hall, Carnegie Mellon:

Frustrated girl: Usually, when I put it next to my boob, it works!
— Overheard by Kevin

University Center, Carnegie Mellon.
A few people talk in a group near the revolving door:

Asian Guy: [to Blonde Girl] Can I be your girlfriend?
Blonde Girl: Are you Jewish?
Asian Guy: Mmhmm.
Blonde Girl: Then yes, you can!
— Overheard by Connor