Overheard in Pittsburgh

Intro to Psychology Class, David Lawrence Hall, Pitt.
The professor asks for a volunteer to see if strangers can estimate someone’s personality based on their appearance. A 6’5″, 270-pound football player steps to the front:

Professor: So, what do you think this guy is like?
Student: He’s outgoing?
Professor: Are you outgoing?
Football Player: [unenthusiastically] Yeh.
[Discussion continues...]
Voice from the Back: He likes cake?
Professor: Um… do you like cake?
Football Player: Yeh.

Maggie Murph Cafe, Hunt Library, CMU.
Two female college students with ditzy intonation are conversing and drinking
coffee:

Student #1: I, like, totally hate the concept of piñatas. Like, “Um, here’s a little colored animal! Let’s beat it with a stick!” Like, “Here’s a little donkey with pizazz! Let’s knock the crap out of it!” You know?

Students #1 and #2: [excessive giggling]

— Overheard by ivan seismic

Pitt Shuttle Stop, Top of Cardiac Hill, Oakland. Friday Night.
A drunk girl descends from the shuttle:

Drunk Girl: Um… yeah, hold on… my phone is in Spanish right now.

— Overheard by MLo

Eddie’s Cafe, Litchfield Towers, Pitt Campus.
Two College Guys are waiting in the check-out line:

Guy #1: What are those birds that fucking talk?
Guy #2: Parrots?
Guy #1: No, that’s what my teacher said. [thinks] Ravens! That’s right.
Guy #2: Ravens talk? That’s like Edgar Allen Poe shit or something.
Guy #1: No, dude, they for real only say, like, one word ,though.

[...]

Guy #2: [imitating a raven] “Aquafina!?”
Guy #1: Yeah, dude! “Aquafina!” Only I’d make mine say, “Radiator.”

— Overheard by Joshua

Jennie King Mellon Library, Chatham College.
The girl behind the desk is blatantly checking Facebook:

Blonde Patron: Excuse me, um, can I get a book?
Girl at Desk: Nope, fresh out.

[Girl at Desk turns back to Facebook and types.]

— Overheard by sexylibrarian

Apartment, Friendship.
A commercial for First-On™, from the makers of Head-On™ comes on TV:

College Girl: STOP MAKING ONS!

— Overheard by Lady Jane

Hamburg Hall, CMU:

CMU Student #1: She’s such a great friend!
CMU Student #2: Yeah, well, she thinks she is. Sometimes I just feel like she’s trying to bribe me.
CMU Student #1: Yeah, but do you know she got me for my birthday?

— Overheard by Iceberg

Outside Subway, Center Ave, Shadyside:

College Girl: [pointing at pastrami sub picture in the window] That’s what you’re getting.
Boyfriend: What? Why do you say that?
College Girl: Because you’re totally gay for pastrami.
Boyfriend: I’m gay for a lot of things.

Liquor Store near Whole Foods, East Liberty:

College Girl: [to friend] It’s not a date; I’ll be wearing my pajama bottoms the whole time.

— Overheard by Robbie

Computer Lab, Carnegie Mellon.
A girl has just finished a loud cell phone conversation:

Guy: So what’s [Student Health Services] say?
Girl: Apparently, “if you’re not willing to skip class to make an appointment, then you must not really be sick.”

— Overheard by Ka-CHANG

Overheard in Pittsburgh FunFact™: Carnegie Mellon’s Student Health Services hates you.