Millvale


Post Office, Millvale.
There is a small line at the end of the day, and two postal workers behind the counter. An older (50-60) woman, large and hunched over, walks up to the counter with a huge pile of Christmas cards:

Woman: I’m going to need 50 Christmas stamps.
Postal Worker: OK… [opens drawer] Do you want “Christmas Cookies” or“Madonna and Child”?
Woman: [Loudly, and sounding slightly offended] Oh! OH! “Madonna and Child”, PLEASE.

[Awkward pause in the post office]

Woman: If I so much as LOOK at a Christmas cookie, I gain 10 pounds.

— Overheard by Etzel

Mr. Small’s Theatre, Millvale. Saturday Night:

40-Something Mulleted Yinzer Woman: You know, I don’t think you can find a bigger Def Leppard fan than me.
Clean-Cut 30-Something Man: I’m not really sure I want to.

— Overheard by Etzel