Overheard in Pittsburgh

61C Inbound, Squirrel Hill. Morning.

Woman #1: Where’d you buy that [body glitter]?
Woman #2: Oh, I got this from a nudie bar — I mean that adult bookstore in Monroeville. Pretty much anywhere that sells dildoes sells body glitter.

— Overheard by mp

Crowded 61F Outbound:

Girl on Cell: So, what you want to do tonight?
—You can’t have alcoholbecause you’re on that diet, right?
—Well, how about vodka? It’s almost like water.

54C Outbound, Oakland.
Two old women get on the bus; one is markedly older than the other:

Old Woman: [shouting at Older Woman] Where’s your pass? WHERE’S YOUR PASS?!

[Older Woman doesn’t respond.]

Old Woman: WHERE’S YOUR BUS PASS?!!!

[Older Woman doesn’t respond; Old Woman goes through Older Woman's purse in search of a bus pass.]

Older Woman: Just what the hell do you think you’re doing in my purse?
Old Woman: Looking for your pass.
Older woman: I don’t have a stinking pass! I’m too goddamned old for a damned pass!

— Overheard by Smokey.

59U Inbound. Valentine’s Day:

Guy: And every time I want to go to a party, he has to tag along.  He’s so damn clingy.
Girl: Ugh, that is my worst fear, being clingy.  That’s why I only drink when I’m at home and by myself.

67A Outbound, Oakland.
A Little Boy in a Steelers Jacket stares out the window, commenting on what he sees loudly and uninteligably. At the Carnegie Mellon stop, the Walking to the Sky statue comes into view:

Little Boy: One day I’m going to buy that statue and send it back to New York!
— Overheard by Connor

EBO Outbound:

Bus Driver: Wilkinsburg Park and Ride: Where you can ride and not park at all or park
and not ride at all! Port Authority offers you options!

61B Inbound, Oakland:

African American Woman: [Addressing Bus Driver] That’s what I tol’ my son: I put you on this earth, I can take you out. I’ll get my Louisville Slugger. Uncle Sam’s got him over in Iraq now, though.
Bus Driver: So he’s getting whupped for a paycheck instead of for free?!
African American Woman: Exactly. I tol’ all my kids, I brought you in, I’ll take you out. Even my granddaughter, I didn’t bring her in, but I’ll take her out too. I tol’ her that and she went crying to Sharise — her mama — but Sharise just tol’ her “Baby girl, your grammy tol’ me that when I was a little girl too, and I’m sticking to it.” She went
crying to her other grammy, and she tol’ her the same thing I did.
Bus Driver: Amen!

[The bus pulls up to the Pittsburgh Children's Hospital. The African American woman gets up to start getting off the bus.]

African American Woman: Time to get my nurse on!

—  Overheard by Connor

61C Outbound, Oakland:
Pitt Student #1: I have this project where I want to get a portrait of Darwin and put it in my house — like, over the fireplace with a nice frame.
Pitt Student #2: Or a bust!
Pitt Student #1: Yeah, a bust of Darwin! And then I’ll get one of Mr. T and put it right next to him!

— Overheard by Zyzzy

61B Inbound. Morning.
A Goth of Indeterminate Gender in full regalia — fishnet gloves, chains, acne — stares into space for a while and then suddenly reaches for a cell phone:

Goth: Yo Scary! I really hate to bother you when you’re at work, but I just got the greatest idea for an album cover!
— Yeah, I’ll call you after school to tell you all about it. Bye.

67F Outbound, leaving Pitt Campus:
Woman: [pointing to the footbridge over Forbes Ave.] When did they build that?
Man: It’s always been there. Look, it says on it, “Established 1787.”