Overheard in Pittsburgh

61A Outbound. 5 p.m.:

Hairy, Bearded Man: Yeah, I started growing it early, at 15 or something.
Bald Man: Looks like you got a lot. [Uncomfortably rubs his head].
Hairy, Bearded Man: Yeah, I haven’t seen my chin since 1997.

— Overheard by ryan

500 Inbound. Evening.
Two disheveled men are talking loudly about cocaine:

Disheveled Man #1: You know where it started don’t you? Cocaine? THE DOCTORS!
Disheveled Man #2: The doctors? You don’t say.
Disheveled Man #1: Yeah, I seen it on the Discovery Channel or the History Channel or some shit. But yeah, man, it was the doctors. All those rich people went to the doctors for the good stuff, and they gave it to them. The doctors.

41D Inbound.
A yinzer in casual business attire is sitting, spread out, in the back of the bus, speaking to a 20-something woman, also in casual business attire:

Yinzer: Do they have a Starbucks in Station Square?
[Woman shakes her head.]
Yinzer: Why not?
Woman: Well, Station Square is surrounded by a lot of busy streets, so the backup in traffic it would cause is probably a problem. And there are a lot of Starbucks downtown, so they probably don’t need one in Station Square.
Yinzer: Tell you what: If I hit the lottery, that’s what I’d open!

— Overheard by ecto

Campus Shuttle, University of Pittsburgh. Friday night.
The shuttle is full of loud, drunken college students:

Frat Boy: FACEBOOK ‘ER ‘N SHIT!

— Overheard by MLo

71A Inbound. 10 a.m.:

Loud Woman on Cell Phone: Oh, wait, it’s not Duquesne Light.
—Well, I can’t say it, but it’s spelled D-U-Q-U-E-S-N-E.
—Ohhh!

Bus Stop, Waterfront:

Girl: Does this bus go to Squirrel Hill?
Bus Diver: Yep.
[Girl gets on bus.]
Emo Kid: Does this bus go to Squirrel Hill?
Bus Driver: No! No! No!
[Bus Driver closes door on Emo Kid and drives away quickly.]

Bus Stop, Murray / Forward, Squirrel Hill. Five minutes until the 61C arrives.
The weather is sunny, and the temperature is in the mid-30s:

Old Man: That bus won’t come!
—Makes me mad…
—That dumb blazin’ bus won’t show up! We’re gonna get frostbite waitin’ out here!
—Maybe they’re not runnin’…
—Maybe they’ll send another one?
—That dadgum bus!
—Makes me mad…
[The bus appears at the crest of the hill. A line of cars at the light holds it back.]
Old Man: Why won’t those cars move? [waves arm] Move, cars!
[A group of even older old people turn and look at him incredulously. The intersection finally clears, and the bus pulls up.]
Senile Old Man: [to the driver] Is this bus overcrowded? Are there seats?
Driver of Nearly Empty Bus: [answering first question] No.
Old Man: Aw, never mind, then.
[Senile Old Man shuffles away]

— Overheard by Zyzzy

86B Outbound. Late Afternoon:

Young Woman #1: [holding young boy] I took my son to be vaccinated today, but it ended up taking all day.
Young Woman #2: Really? Why’d it take the whole day?
Young Woman #1: I couldn’t remember how to spell his name, so I had to go back home to get his birth certificate.

Packed 61C, Squirrel Hill.
A dozen people have just shoved themselves into the last available spaces, and the bus pulls away from the curb. A middle-aged lady arrives at the bus stop late and tries to get the driver’s attention:

Passenger: Hold it, driver!… HOLD IT, DRIVER!
Driver: [dryly] Where’s she gonna sit, on my lap?

[The bus drives on.]

— Overheard by Zyzzy

Bus Stop, Forbes / Bigelow, Oakland:
A 20-something Asian girl with a cello case taller than she is strapped to her back approaches the driver of a stopped bus:

Cello Girl: Does this bus go to Heinz Hall?
Bus Driver: There is only one way to get to Heinz Hall.  Practice, practice, practice.
Cello Girl: Which bus is that?

— Overheard by BiggAndyy