Overheard in Pittsburgh

Outside Bathroom Door, Barry’s Pub, Carson St., South Side. St. Patrick’s Day.
A 20-Something Man who is dressed entirely in in green with leprechaun hat is talking on the cell phone:

Green Guy on Cell: No, dude: I’m at Barry’s. No, you have to come down. Yeah, I’ve been telling everyone you’re dead.

— Overheard by I Can’t Believe Shawn Michaels Tapped Out

Women’s Restroom, Hilton Hotel, Downtown. During an Insurance Convention:

Middle-Aged Woman #1: Wait, you can’t go in there; that’s the handicapped stall.
Middle-Aged Woman #2: Honey, we’re all handicapped in our own way.

— Overheard by Rorge

Men’s Room, Third Floor, Cathedral of Learning, Oakland.
After brushing his teeth and washing his face, a stubbly, disheveled middle-aged man shuffles out:

Haggard Dude: [in the hallway, murmuring] Stupid bitch!

— Overheard by Zyzzy

Crowded Ladies Room, Dave and Busters, Waterfront. Saturday Night.
A cell phone rings, and a woman answers it, screaming to the be heard:

Woman: HELLO?! HELLO! I’m at Dave and Busters right now! I’m in the ladies room, in the first stall here! I’m in here peein’!
— I’ll call you back; I gotta flush.

— Overheard by Linda

Men’s Restroom, Bagel Factory, Squirrel Hill.
Two College Girls enter the unlocked door to a small but occupied men’s restroom and begin to wash their hands:

College Girl #1: Your mom can’t lock bathroom doors either, can she?
College Girl #2: No, she’s claustrophobic. She can’t even shut the stall door.

— Overheard by Wanton Disregard