Overheard in Pittsburgh

Carnegie Library, East Liberty.

An old man with shoe-polish-black hair is standing at a copier and crooning.

Old Man: [stops singing] Oops, can’t sing, it’s a library. [Sings a little more] I bet you think I’m singin’ `cause I’m happy, but I’m not. I’m singin’ `cause I’m half-broke and crazy.

— Overheard by coreyw

Jennie King Mellon Library, Chatham College.
The girl behind the desk is blatantly checking Facebook:

Blonde Patron: Excuse me, um, can I get a book?
Girl at Desk: Nope, fresh out.

[Girl at Desk turns back to Facebook and types.]

— Overheard by sexylibrarian

Near the Elevators, Ground Floor, Hillman Library.
A Cool Guy walks around the hallway talking on his cell phone:

Cool Guy: [calmly] Are we okay, or do we need to break up?  Because if you want to break up then I am fine with that.

Jennie King Mellon Library, Chatham College.

Girl at Desk: [answering phone, hanging up quickly] I hate spam phone calls!
Friend: Yeah! “We can make your bick digger!!” [realizes she is shouting and abruptly puts her head down at the desk]

— Overheard by Moody

Carnegie Library, Oakland.
One Janitor tells another the plot of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol:

Janitor #1: The first ghost was named “Pinkie”, and he beat the crap out of death.
Janitor #2: Aaah…

Library, Art Institute, 9 a.m.
While most students attend their morning classes, an Interior Design Girl talks to another while trimming a project at a cutting board:

Interior Design Girl #1: I heard it’s supposed to get so cold out tomorrow. I thought it would stay warm out, like, all winter.
Interior Design Girl #2: Well, tomorrow is, like, January 1st, I think.

— Overheard by Trapped in an Art School, Please Send Help

Maggie Murph Cafe, Hunt Library, CMU:

Blonde Girl: Yeah, sometimes the anal works out pretty well.

— Overheard by ivan seismic

Lending Desk, Hillman Library, Pitt Campus:

College Chick: I’m gonna have a turkey sandwich and a glass of vodka.

— Overheard by TLB

Hillman Library, Pitt Campus.
Three students are checking out books at the front desk.

Female Student: I think I’m getting hot flashes.
Male Student: What, are you post-menopausal?
Female Student: No, but my temperature has been over 100 degrees for the past few days.
Guy behind desk: Uh, that’s not hot flashes; that’s called a fever.

— Overheard by Halle

Carnegie Library, East Liberty.
A clerk is registering a woman and her daughter’s returned children’s books:

Daughter: [looking at clerk intensely] Daddy!
Mother: [looking shocked at her daughter] What!?!?
Clerk: [silently registers the books, visibly uncomfortable.]

— Overheard by coreyw