Overheard in Pittsburgh

Bus Stop, Waterfront:

Girl: Does this bus go to Squirrel Hill?
Bus Diver: Yep.
[Girl gets on bus.]
Emo Kid: Does this bus go to Squirrel Hill?
Bus Driver: No! No! No!
[Bus Driver closes door on Emo Kid and drives away quickly.]

Home Furnishings Department, Target, Waterfront. Afternoon.
A young mother shops with her toddler in the front seat of a shopping cart. The young child is crying hysterically:

Toddler:  I…want…to…diiiiiieee!

— Overheard by corey w.

Crowded Ladies Room, Dave and Busters, Waterfront. Saturday Night.
A cell phone rings, and a woman answers it, screaming to the be heard:

Woman: HELLO?! HELLO! I’m at Dave and Busters right now! I’m in the ladies room, in the first stall here! I’m in here peein’!
— I’ll call you back; I gotta flush.

— Overheard by Linda

Cinema, AMC/Loews Waterfront.
The ads are running before a movie:

Nerdy Girl: I had a friend who mixed LSD and heroin. She lived, though.
Guy Friend: All I can say to her is, “Congratulations.”
Nerdy Girl: Yeah, she didn’t remember much of her freshman year of high school.

Town Square, the Waterfront.Saturday Evening.
A white, middle-class family with three children under six passes Victoria’s Secret:

Four-Year-Old Boy: [pointing at Victoria’s Secret] Let’s go in here.
Five-Year-Old Boy: Eeww! That’s all girl stuff!

— Overheard by Kelly

Toy Department, Target, Waterfront:

Punk Girl: [to Emo Boy with Caucasian ‘Fro]: This smells like your job.

Target, Waterfront.
A Female Customer is buying a hand-sized plush cushion:

Female Cashier: What is this?
Female Customer: A massager.
Female Cashier: You can just sit on this and have a good time!

 — Overheard by Sophie

Target, Waterfront:

30-Year-Old Dude: I’m going to put a chapter about that in my book. And I will write that book, just watch. MY MEMOIRS. Do you think people will buy it? I’ll put a chapter about you in there.

— Overheard by Sancho Pizza

Loews Cineplex, Waterfront. Evening.
Both Eragon and The Pursuit of Happyness showing in preview screenings in adjacent theaters, and people are becoming confused about which one they need. A man wanders into the theater for the Eragon screening and then bumps around, lost:

Woman: Are you looking for Happyness?
Man: I gave up looking for happiness years ago. Now I’m just trying to find my friends.

— Overheard by Rob of UnSpace

59U Inbound, Waterfront.
Two CMU students sit across the aisle from each other. One listens to Korean Korean rock on his iPod while the other flips through receipts:

iPod Guy: Timor.
[…]
—TIMOR! I gotta stop at Target.
Timor: No! Fuck no! No no fuck no! No no no fuck no!
iPod Guy: I need to get a lightbulb!
Timor: Fuck that! I’m fucking freezing!

— Overheard by Zyzzy