Overheard in Pittsburgh

Bus Stop, Blvd. of the Allies / Market, Downtown:

Thirty-Something Professional Guy: [on cell phone] There’s a helicopter over Downtown; something must be up. I just farted — maybe they think there’s another natural gas leak.

— Overheard by AlwaysReporting

Mellon Square Parking Garage, Downtown:

Frantic Mom on Cell Phone: Oh! His nunchucks, he can’t forget them. Seriously, he needs his nunchucks!

— Overheard by AlwaysReporting

Sixth Street, Liberty / Penn, Downtown.
Three elderly women walk out of Starbucks:

Elderly Woman #1: My daughter’s been telling my granddaughter that she’s 29 years old for five years now… And just as I was about to tell my granddaughter her real age, she turns to me and said, “And what does that make you, grandma? 40?”
Elderly Woman #2: You didn’t tell her, did you?
Elderly Woman #1: Damn right.

— Overheard by Megan

DEP Regional Office Building, Liberty Ave, Downtown.
Two warmly dressed employees are standing in front of the windows. Outside, A man in khaki shorts walks by:

Man: That man has shorts on, and it’s cold out!
Woman: He must have gone to Duquesne.

— Overheard by vivie

Starbucks, 6th & Penn, Downtown:
Latte Guy: If someone loses a family pet, make sure to be Johnny-on-the-spot and offer them a free cigar.
Woman: I’m sorry I don’t smoke cigars.

— Overheard by Maggie   

Highmark Building, Downtown.

Junkie Girl on Cell Phone:I don’t care!
—Fuck that!
—Fuck CVS!
—Fuck the drug dealer!
—No! I’m coming upstairs!

Market Square, Downtown:

Man #1: When we went to Alcatraz we sat on Al Capone’s toilet.
Man #2: Did it still work?

— Overheard by Keystone

Office, Downtown:

Young Junior Accountant: Dude, all the flags are at half staff because Coach retired.
Co-Worker: No, that’s because President Ford died.
Junior: Oh.

— Overheard by aurora

Vocelli Pizza, Penn Ave, Downtown:

Short College Girl: [fanning her pizza] Stop being so hot! I want to eat you!

— Overheard by Zyzzy

Rite-Aid, Forbes Ave, Downtown:

Rite-Aid Employee: You look rich. Wanna get married?
College Girl: I’m not rich: I’m in college.
Rite-Aid Employee: That’s okay; that means you’ll get rich someday.

— Overheard by Point Park student