Archive for February 2008
Wednesday, February 27th, 2008
Double Yoi, Terrible Towels at Half Mast
Penn Ave, Strip District:
Guy #1: So, anyway… Myron and Bill walk into this bar in Texas, right? And as soon as they walk in the door, the place goes quiet. All these shit-kickers stop and look at them.
Guy#2: Did they walk out?
Guy #1: No, man. They walked up to the bar and ordered a beer. And this guy next to Myron at the bar goes, “You ain’t from around here, are you?” And Myron leans back and looks at the guy and goes, [in a perfect Myron Cope impression] “NO I AIN’T.”
[Guy #2 and everyone nearby erupt in laughter.]
— Overheard by J
Rest in Peace, Myron.
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Tuesday, February 26th, 2008
Glenn is all business.
Party, Brentwood:
Partygoer #1: [surveying a table of food] Well, well, well, what do we have here?
Partygoer #2: It’s ham barbeque, dickface. Shut up and fix yourself a sandwich.
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Thursday, February 21st, 2008
“But the bloody rivers…that’s not good.”
Ad Agency, Strip District. Thursday Morning.
One co-worker is explaining the recent solar eclipse to another:
Co-worker: Oh, yeah, the moon turns red, and it’s not because we’re all gonna die.
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Wednesday, February 20th, 2008
Don’t bow down to the flower nazis.
Chihuly Exhibit, Phipp’s Conservatory. Friday Night.
There are signs directing people through the exhibit:
Frustrated Woman: They always keep demanding that you stay to the RIGHT! [Stomps off to the left]
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Friday, February 15th, 2008
Now, if only there were corn-battered roses on a stick…
Checkout, Giant Eagle, Virginia Manor. Valentine’s Day.
A 30-something guy sets some roses and a package of frozen corn dogs on the conveyor belt while waiting in line:
Older Man in Line: Nothing like corn dogs on Valentine’s Day.
30-Something Guy: Yeah, I’m romantic.
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Thursday, February 14th, 2008
That’s actually the title of Vivica Fox’s new romantic comedy.
Wood / Forbes, Downtown. Lunch time:
Black Guy: [to friend] Yo, she went from ashy, to classy!
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Wednesday, February 13th, 2008
Yikes.
Chinese Poetry Class, Cathedral of Learning, Pitt Campus:
Asian Professor: Many interpretations are acceptable. Remember, there is more than one way to slice a cat.
[Class giggles.]
Asian Professor: Are you laughing because the poem is so romantic?
Girl #1: No, it’s just that you said, “There’s more than one way to slice a
cat,” when it’s really “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.”
Girl #2: Yeah, in America we don’t eat cats.
[shocked silence]
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Friday, February 8th, 2008
Wayne will do whatever it takes to get free beer on Ladies’ Night.
Cafe Milano, Downtown. Lunchtime:
Guy: It was Wednesday! Of course I wasn’t wearing pants!
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Thursday, February 7th, 2008
It’s not a skill, it’s an attitude.
Party, Oakdale:
Underage Drinker #1: It’s a skill
Underage Drinker #2: What?
Underage Drinker #1: Drunk driving is a skill.
— Overheard by stillwrinkling
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Thursday, February 7th, 2008
Groovy’s not the only part of the South Side stuck in the `70s.
Laundromat, 20th / Wharton, South Side.
Woman: This change machine only takes dollar bills? Shiiit.