Overheard in Pittsburgh

East End Food Co-Op, Point Breeze:

Girl #1: Look at all the vitamin supplements they have! Oh, detox…
Girl #2: Did you notice our hair is the most shiny here?
Girl #1: Out of all this, that is what you notice?!

— Overheard by aurora

69A, Oakland:

Middle-Aged Man on Cell Phone: Yeah, I’m on the bus.
—The moving welfare office. [Chuckles]
[Bus drives past Carnegie Mellon]
—Yeah, I’m going through the Schoolyard, headed for the West Bank. See, I call Oakland the Schoolyard, and I call Squirrel Hill the West Bank. [More chuckling]

91A Outbound, Lawrenceville.
An attractive black-guy-white-girl couple is sitting in the back of the crowded bus. Another rider starts muttering his disapproval of interracial relationships. The couple storm to the front of the bus to get off:

Girl: You got a problem with interracial relationships? Then you better get off the bus, you fat fuck, and we’ll give you a problem with an interracial ASS whuppin!
Driver: Have a nice night!

Centre Ave, Shadyside.
A man has bent over because of pain in his knee:

Old Lady: Are you ok?
Guy: Just fine. Something’s wrong with my knee, thanks.
Old Lady: You should exercise.
Guy: [smiling] I do.
Old Lady: You should lose weight. If you lose weight you put less weight on your knees.
Guy: My BMI is 21.
Old Lady: What’s a BMI?
[Guy awkwardly steps away.]

— Overheard by N.

High School Basketball Game, Penn Hills.
Two extremely skinny cheerleaders are conversing by the concession stand at halftime:

Cheerleader #1: Girl, are you still on that all-water diet?
Cheerleader #2: Mmhmm.
Cheerleader #1: Girl, you better watch, you’re gonna die from that shit.
Cheerleader #2: It don’t matter if I’m dyin’ skinny.

Carnegie Library, Oakland.
An eccentric looking older man in a smoking jacket, ski cap, and wraparound sunglasses approaches a reference librarian:

Eccentric Man: So, let me get this straight: Do you condone shadow boxing in here?
[The librarian stares, confused.]
Eccentric Man:  I mean, I wouldn’t be allowed to go out in the hallway and shadow box?
Librarian:  Ummm… no, I don’t believe so.

Intro to Dramatic Arts Class, Cathedral of Learning, Pitt.
The class is discussing Oedipus Rex:

College Girl #1: It was too wordy. I didn’t like it.
College Girl #2: Sorry you had to use your brain.

Outside Wean Hall, CMU.
Several people are outside smoking. A female student in a bright purple ski hat walks past them and into the building:

Smoking guy: [to no one in particular, disgusted] Ugh, purple! I hate that color.

59U:

Drunk Man: Where are you from?
Young Woman: Beaver Falls. It’s about an hour north of here
Drunk Man: Oh, an hour north? You mean in Canada? Say… have you ever seen a beaver fall? I know I haven’t
Young Woman: No. No, I haven’t.
Drunk Man: I’m trying to get home; I’m going downtown.
Young Woman: Well, couldn’t you have taken the 61C? There was one that pulled up right in front of this one.
Drunk Man: What, you think you’re so smart? I was born on the 61C!

Men’s Formal Department, Macy’s, Ross Park Mall:

30-Something Woman on Cell: These girls were underage. And I mean, really underage.