Archive for November 2007

Friday, November 16th, 2007

“Do these shoes go with this purse?!”

Outside Carnegie Library, Oakland.
Some high school kids are chasing another high school kid. A boy, their age, on the steps yells:

Kid on Steps: You gay! You humped him; that makes you gay! Gaaaaaay!
Girl on Steps: Wait, you say he’s gay? Yo! [Girl chases them.] Come back here! You gay? You gay?! I wanna talk to you if you gay!


Wednesday, November 14th, 2007

Even with olives?

Litchfield Towers. 1:30 AM Friday night:

Girl struggling to stand up: Guys, pizza and a cocktail aren’t the same thing!

— Overheard by Jenna


Tuesday, November 13th, 2007

omg i will f u up kthnxbai

Atwood / Forbes, Oakland.
Two white college-aged thugs are storming down the street, loudly complaining about someone borrowing an item and not returning it:

Thug #1: And now I’ma haffa buy a fucking new one!
Thug #2: Fuck that!
Thug #1: Yeah, fuck that! Nah, I’m a text message his ass and tell him to give it back!

— Overheard by Black or White, Thugs Are Silly


Tuesday, November 13th, 2007

I hope he at least made a wish.

Parking Lot, Waterfront

Middle-aged Man: [on cell phone, bluntly] We left your sister’s party because you threw up on the cake.


Friday, November 9th, 2007

You can always hide your hickey with an ascot.

Dish, South Side. Saturday Night.
Two well-dressed late-20-something couples are standing at the bar. One gentleman excuses himself:

Classy Dame: That’s my boyfriend and we will be so hot together.

[Ten minutes later: The couple is outside, pressed up against the building making things hot and heavy.]

— Overheard by Larrico


Friday, November 9th, 2007

Terror in the Land of Make Believe

Bird Hallway, Carnegie Museum of Natural History, Oakland.
A group of first graders strolls through the hall:

Boy: [serious and motioning to owl case] I was attacked by one of those once.

— Overheard by Stasia


Thursday, November 8th, 2007

Few overcome the trauma of trying to be seated on Live Band Night.

Fuel And Fuddle, Midnight.
About twenty people are waiting outside, with another ten in the entry. A couple approaches the door:

Woman: [Just before touching the door] God… I can’t do it. Not tonight.
[They walk away.]


Thursday, November 8th, 2007

Come on, give the new logo a chance.

Pitt vs. Cincinnati Football Game, Heinz Field.
Wind blows some trash across the field:

College Girl: Why is there so much trash on the field?
College Boy: Have you SEEN our football team?


Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

They’re just like people!

Beehive, South Side.
A middle-aged woman is speaking to her teenage sons. She comments that her cup is “midget-sized,” and then says this:

Middle-Aged Mom: You know what Bob has in our videos? You know, you get married and you snoop around… There’s a video of midgets.
[…]

Midgets riding horses.

— You know, there are probably movies out there of midgets doing just about everything.

— Overheard by Shannon


Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

Sorry about the disruptions

I’ve been dealing with a medical issue of late, but the updates should be back on track.

Thanks,

Chris