Archive for October 2007
Monday, October 15th, 2007
It’s hard to work the pedals when you’re wearing crocs.
Parking Lot, Whole Foods, East Liberty:
Mother: [to son] For a bunch of people who care about what they eat, they sure don’t know how to drive.
— Overheard by Annette
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Monday, October 15th, 2007
He’s making up for pro wrestling at the Lawrenceville Moose Lodge.*
Box Office, Theater Square , Cultural District, Downtown:
Woman: Can I help you?
Man: I wanna buy tickets. I wanna take my wife somewhere… “eventful.”
— Overheard by Megan
* KSWA Fans: Please support the Jimmy Cup Initiative.
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Monday, October 15th, 2007
I think he meant “Center of the Jewniverse”
61D Outbound, Forbes / Murray, Squirrel Hill:
Driver: Ladies and Gentlemen, the next stop is the center of the universe, otherwise known as Forbes and Murray Ave!
[Bus stops, people begin to exit]
Driver: Don’t spend all your money out there, folks. Tuition is due next week!
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Sunday, October 14th, 2007
Charisma charms are sold next to the legal ethics texts in Duquesne’s bookstore/magick shoppe.
Lounge, Law School, Duquesne University:
Ponytail Guy: So, I think he responds to me the way he does because of how I react to him. I think I have a calming effect on his evil wizard aura.
[Girl nods in solemn agreement.]
— Overheard by Student Extraordinaire
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Friday, October 12th, 2007
Since Jesus Needed to Pay Rent
In Front of Oakland Catholic High School, Craig Street, Oakland.
The Geico banner has been flying from an airplane over Oakland:
Girl #1: O-M-F-G!!! Look!! It’s Jesus! O-M-G, that Jesus banner has been circling our school for days.
Girl #2: Since when has Jesus been a spokesman for Geico?
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Friday, October 12th, 2007
Something seems a little off about the new Keds children’s line.
Little’s Shoes, Squirrel Hill:
Very Gay Man: [holding a pair of shoes] These are 1860s London prostitute meets 20th century London chic!
— Overheard by One who wants the shoes.
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Thursday, October 11th, 2007
It’s only one step away from bonging margaritas. One step away from college glory.
Chemistry Class, Art Institute:
Instructor: OK, who’s twenty-one?
[A third of the class raise their hands.]
Instructor: Did you know that if you stick your finger in the head of a beer, it will settle it a little because of the salt on your skin?
Female Student: Or if you have a beer bong, you can sprinkle some salt on top.
— Overheard by blake
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Wednesday, October 10th, 2007
The cashier must be new to CMU’s barter system.
Checkout Line, Bookstore, Carnegie Mellon:.
A man is attempting to pay, and he pulls all the crap out of his pocket to get to his wallet:
Cashier: Sorry, sir, we don’t accept pens, USB sticks, pencils, or crumpled receipts as legal tender.
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Wednesday, October 10th, 2007
No, you’re thinking of the baby, and they don’t do that anymore.
Labor and Delivery Triage, Magee Womens Hospital.
A young, very pregnant woman is called in to be admitted, and her parents follow. The woman’s husband is still standing in the corner dumbly watching television. The woman’s mother runs back and grabs him by the elbow:
Pregnant Woman’s Mother: Oh, you are getting slapped by the end of the night.
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Wednesday, October 10th, 2007
It’s like watching an episode of Lost.
Commons Room, Cathedral of Learning, Pitt Campus:
Girl #1: Ok, so, you know the last time I woke up on the couch naked?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: I can remember how I got there.
Girl #2: Ok.
Girl #1: But the other night — WHAT happened?