Overheard in Pittsburgh

Women’s Restroom, Office Building, East Liberty.
Two women in stalls are discussing work:

Woman #1: Don’t worry, it’ll come.
Woman #2: But it’s such a long, hard, tedious process. It’s so hard!
Woman #1: And you still gotta clean up that mess you made over there.
Woman #2: It’s clean!!!

— Overheard by the Bathroom Police

After the “TBA” showing of Deep Throat, McConomy Auditorium, CMU:

Girl: I’ve never seen so much penis in my life as I’ve seen in the last half-hour.
Guy: You must be very deprived.
Girl: No, I’m just a lesbian.

— Overheard by Zyzzy 

Cathedral of Learning, Pitt Campus.
A preppie girl is walking by while excitedly talking to her guy friend:

Girl: He’s one of those guys I just want to fuck.

— Overheard by Zyzzy

British Literature Class, University of Pittsburgh:

Professor: [holding a novel] This edition was published in Edinburgh.
Girl #1: [to Girl #2] That’s not far from here! My ex-boyfriend goes there.
Girl #2: Yeah, I went there for a weekend last year.
Professor: [to class] As you know, Edinburgh is in the UK.
[Girls look at each other.]
Girl #1: OHHHHHHH!
[Both laugh loudly.]

Dee’s, South Side:

Hipster Guy: [to Hipster Girl] I can’t even see your nipples! Have you lost weight?

— Overheard by Just here to play pool

House Party, Friendship.
A group of 20-somethings are sitting around, drinking beer and talking. A guy lights up a cigarette:

Drunk Girl: You smoke?! Gross! That, like, causes cancer and stuff.
[Several people nod in agreement.]
Cigarette Guy: Actually, it’s just a coincidence that tons of smokers get cancer.
Drunk Girl: Well, why don’t you smoke weed instead? It smells better.

Religion in American Society Class, CMU:

Professor: And I don’t need to tell you about the Holocaust…
Student #1: [sarcastically] Wait, what was that again?

— Overheard by don’t worry; she was being sarcastic

Hunt Library, Carnegie Mellon University:

Girl on Cell Phone: Isn’t it weird to think about little Daniel having buttsex?

— Overheard by CMU Hottie

Forbes / Bigelow, Oakland.
A College Girl accepts a religious tract from a zealous pamphleteer :

College Girl #1: Wait, why am i going to hell again?
College Girl #2: Uhh… `Cause you already had sex?

— Overheard by Mark

University Center, Carnegie Mellon:

Girl #1: Just think: If you gain six pounds, that’s, like, a baby.
Girl #2: Ew!!!!

— Overheard by Ellen