Archive for October 2007
Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007
Yes, it’s cheap, but it’s true.
Women’s Restroom, Office Building, East Liberty.
Two women in stalls are discussing work:
Woman #1: Don’t worry, it’ll come.
Woman #2: But it’s such a long, hard, tedious process. It’s so hard!
Woman #1: And you still gotta clean up that mess you made over there.
Woman #2: It’s clean!!!
— Overheard by the Bathroom Police
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Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007
“Nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.”
After the “TBA” showing of Deep Throat, McConomy Auditorium, CMU:
Girl: I’ve never seen so much penis in my life as I’ve seen in the last half-hour.
Guy: You must be very deprived.
Girl: No, I’m just a lesbian.
— Overheard by Zyzzy
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Monday, October 22nd, 2007
That’s what you get when you pretend to be friends with the girl you’re trying to date.
Cathedral of Learning, Pitt Campus.
A preppie girl is walking by while excitedly talking to her guy friend:
Girl: He’s one of those guys I just want to fuck.
— Overheard by Zyzzy
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Friday, October 19th, 2007
You should read their paper on the Treaty of North Versailles.
British Literature Class, University of Pittsburgh:
Professor: [holding a novel] This edition was published in Edinburgh.
Girl #1: [to Girl #2] That’s not far from here! My ex-boyfriend goes there.
Girl #2: Yeah, I went there for a weekend last year.
Professor: [to class] As you know, Edinburgh is in the UK.
[Girls look at each other.]
Girl #1: OHHHHHHH!
[Both laugh loudly.]
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Friday, October 19th, 2007
“Really only in the nipples.”
Dee’s, South Side:
Hipster Guy: [to Hipster Girl] I can’t even see your nipples! Have you lost weight?
— Overheard by Just here to play pool
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Thursday, October 18th, 2007
Marijuana’s smell has always been its strongest selling point.
House Party, Friendship.
A group of 20-somethings are sitting around, drinking beer and talking. A guy lights up a cigarette:
Drunk Girl: You smoke?! Gross! That, like, causes cancer and stuff.
[Several people nod in agreement.]
Cigarette Guy: Actually, it’s just a coincidence that tons of smokers get cancer.
Drunk Girl: Well, why don’t you smoke weed instead? It smells better.
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Wednesday, October 17th, 2007
Worst Camp Ever
Religion in American Society Class, CMU:
Professor: And I don’t need to tell you about the Holocaust…
Student #1: [sarcastically] Wait, what was that again?
— Overheard by don’t worry; she was being sarcastic
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Wednesday, October 17th, 2007
Our little striped tiger is all grown up.
Hunt Library, Carnegie Mellon University:
Girl on Cell Phone: Isn’t it weird to think about little Daniel having buttsex?
— Overheard by CMU Hottie
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Tuesday, October 16th, 2007
That’s a really specific pamphlet.
Forbes / Bigelow, Oakland.
A College Girl accepts a religious tract from a zealous pamphleteer :
College Girl #1: Wait, why am i going to hell again?
College Girl #2: Uhh… `Cause you already had sex?
— Overheard by Mark
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Tuesday, October 16th, 2007
Fatness begins at conception
University Center, Carnegie Mellon:
Girl #1: Just think: If you gain six pounds, that’s, like, a baby.
Girl #2: Ew!!!!
— Overheard by Ellen