Archive for October 2007
Wednesday, October 31st, 2007
How do you say “coleslaw on the side” in Yinzer?
Pacific Ring Chinese Restaurant, Squirrel Hill. Saturday Afternoon.
A waiter approaches a large group of of people, starts speaking Chinese to the only Chinese guy in the group. The customer has trouble communicating with the waiter, but he manages to order his meal in Chinese:
Girl: Wow, I didn’t know you could speak Chinese. You’re so…international.
Guy: I suck at Chinese. I’m about as international as the tri-state area.
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Wednesday, October 31st, 2007
Greg and Tim didn’t realize that their interest in collecting color swatches would lead to love.
Systematic Gem and Mineral Hall, Carnegie Museum of Natural History, Oakland.
A group of teenage boys is gathered around a case containing fluorite from Illinois. One clutches a digital camera:
Guy #1: Dude, I don’t care if you get a picture of the rock — I just want the color of the rock. What are you doing? No. Just fuckin’ fake it. There. I don’t need you to take any more.
Guy #2 with Camera: I would give a leg for you.
— Overheard by Zyzzy
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Wednesday, October 31st, 2007
Nobody ever “hates to say it.”
Office Building, Downtown.
A white man and woman are discussing the number of shootings on the North Side that day, and the white man says he doesn’t always feel that safe visiting friends there:
White Woman: I hate to say it but black people only shoot black people.
White Man: Yeah, but sometimes they miss.
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Tuesday, October 30th, 2007
Well, if medical school doesn’t work out…
East Carson / 18th, Southside:
Woman #1: Would you rather be a stripper or a hooker?
Woman #2: I don’t want to have to DO anything, so I’d rather be a stripper.
Male Passer-By: OOOH! You’d get PAID, too! MMM!
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Tuesday, October 30th, 2007
She didn’t say Simon Says
Eckerd, 6th / Smithfield, Downtown. Busy Friday Lunch Hour:
Old Lady on PA: Jim, please waddle to convenience.
— Overheard by Zelda
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Monday, October 29th, 2007
Practice Your Defence Against Dark Truth
Book Club, Honors College, 35th Floor, Cathedral of Learning.
A discussion about Dumbledore’s sexuality, and author’s intent vs. what’s on the page:
Boy #1: Just because she says he’s gay doesn’t mean he is.
Boy #2: Well, I hooked up with him last week, so, empirical evidence, you know.
Boy #3: He’s at least bi.
Boy #4: One time doesn’t count!
Girl #1: [whispering about Boy #4] He’s in theatre.
Girl #2: Oooh.
— Overheard by Y.T.
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Friday, October 26th, 2007
Batman villains aren’t born, they’re made.
Lobby, Litchfield Towers, Pitt Campus.
Two athletic guys walk by the laundry room:
Jock: I hope she falls in a vat a’ acid.
— Overheard by Zyzzy
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Thursday, October 25th, 2007
Things to Do By 50
Law Class, University of Pittsburgh:
Professor: Who here has been woken up by a sexual favor?
[Out of 90 students, the only one to raise his hand is over 50 years old. ]
— Overheard by That Was Worth The Tuition
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Thursday, October 25th, 2007
I see a corelation.
Football Practice, CMU:
Coach: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU RETARDS?! YOU CAN GET A FUCKING 1400 ON YOUR SAT, BUT YOU CANT RUN A GODDAMN FOOTBALL PLAY!
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Wednesday, October 24th, 2007
“She liked squeaky toys too.”
Evening Flight from Dallas/Fort Worth to Pittsburgh
During descent, a dog begins to whine and whimper beneath a seat, and its owner, a middle-aged woman, shushes it as it continues to whine:
Middle-Aged Business Man: She sounds like my ex-wife.
— Overheard by Kelly.