Archive for September 2007
Tuesday, September 18th, 2007
Really? A depressed person living in Tower C?
Hallway, Litchfield Tower C, Pitt Campus:
Girl: [on phone] So the vet said I need to give my dog Prozac and buy this special dog kind. I was like, screw that! Can’t I just give him some of mine?
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Tuesday, September 18th, 2007
Don’t let your fear of great savings keep you away from Giant Eagle™!
Morewood Ave, Oakland:
College Chick: [on cell] Oh my God, you would’ve been so proud of me! Yesterday, I actually went to a grocery store!
— Overheard by Ivan Seismic
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Monday, September 17th, 2007
Ask Jeeves.
The Brave One Screening, Cinemagic Squirrel Hill. During the Ads.
Man: Why can’t Mr. Google find Mr. Bin Lay-den?
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Monday, September 17th, 2007
Wilkillyinzburg
Hay / Biddle, Wilkinsburg.
A man on foot has just fired eight gunshots and fled:
Man #1: Are you hit? Did you get hit?
Man #2: I don’t know! I’m checking!
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Friday, September 14th, 2007
“It’s always handball with you.”
Cubicle, University Advancement, Carnegie Mellon:
Man: Hey, do you know anything about this report?
Woman: What? That’s like asking me about European handball; I know nothing about that.
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Friday, September 14th, 2007
Nothing beats chlamydia!
Benedum Hall, Pitt Campus:
Preppie College Girl: [on phone] What? Really?! Who’d you have to sleep with to get that?
— Overheard by Zyzzy
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Thursday, September 13th, 2007
With so many beer distributors, there’s no reason to leave Oakland.
Outside Hillman Library, Pitt Campus:
Frat Boy #1: [on phone] Hi, Grandma. Happy New Year to you too.
[Frat Boy #2 gives his friend a blank stare.]
Frat Boy #1: No, no one else told me that today.
—I don’t know, Grandma.
—I guess there just aren’t many Jewish people in Pittsburgh.
— Overheard by Sally
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Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
And Empty Inside
Forbes Ave, Oakland.
A group of college guys and girls are walking down the street; one guy is carrying a girl on his back:
Girl: Isn’t she heavy?
Guy: Nah, she reminds me of my bookbag: Nice and loose.
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Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
People are getting way out of hand with the self-immolation.
61c Outbound, Squirrel Hill.
A small boy is gesticulating wildly at everything outside the slow-moving bus. He points out a fire hydrant to his mother:
Mother: The firemen attach a hose to that and use the water to put out things that are on fire, like a house, or a car—
Lady Sitting Opposite: Or a person.
Mother: Or a person.
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Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
Oakland: Where tolerance means totally being able to shotgun, like, three beers, bro!
Atwood St, Oakland:
College Guy: [passing a woman] Her pussy probably smells like nacho cheese.