Overheard in Pittsburgh

Hallway, Litchfield Tower C, Pitt Campus:

Girl: [on phone] So the vet said I need to give my dog Prozac and buy this special dog kind. I was like, screw that! Can’t I just give him some of mine?

Morewood Ave, Oakland:

College Chick: [on cell] Oh my God, you would’ve been so proud of me! Yesterday, I actually went to a grocery store!

— Overheard by Ivan Seismic

The Brave One Screening, Cinemagic Squirrel Hill. During the Ads.

Man: Why can’t Mr. Google find Mr. Bin Lay-den?

Hay / Biddle, Wilkinsburg.
A man on foot has just fired eight gunshots and fled:

Man #1: Are you hit? Did you get hit?
Man #2: I don’t know! I’m checking!

Cubicle, University Advancement, Carnegie Mellon:

Man: Hey, do you know anything about this report?
Woman: What? That’s like asking me about European handball; I know nothing about that.

Benedum Hall, Pitt Campus:

Preppie College Girl: [on phone] What? Really?! Who’d you have to sleep with to get that?

— Overheard by Zyzzy

Outside Hillman Library, Pitt Campus:

Frat Boy #1: [on phone] Hi, Grandma. Happy New Year to you too.
[Frat Boy #2 gives his friend a blank stare.]
Frat Boy #1: No, no one else told me that today.
—I don’t know, Grandma.
—I guess there just aren’t many Jewish people in Pittsburgh.

— Overheard by Sally

Forbes Ave, Oakland.
A group of college guys and girls are walking down the street; one guy is carrying a girl on his back:

Girl: Isn’t she heavy?
Guy: Nah, she reminds me of my bookbag: Nice and loose.

61c Outbound, Squirrel Hill.
A small boy is gesticulating wildly at everything outside the slow-moving bus. He points out a fire hydrant to his mother:

Mother: The firemen attach a hose to that and use the water to put out things that are on fire, like a house, or a car—
Lady Sitting Opposite: Or a person.
Mother: Or a person.

Atwood St, Oakland:

College Guy: [passing a woman] Her pussy probably smells like nacho cheese.