Overheard in Pittsburgh

La Prima Coffee, Wean Hall, CMU.
A man in his 50s approaches the counter:

Man: [points to pastry] How much does that cost?
Barista: One seveny-five.
Man: [shocked] One hundred seventy-five dollars?!
Barista: No, it’s—
[Man runs away before she can explain.]

Macy’s, Century 3 Mall:

Lady: [on cell] So apparently she’s decided she wants to turn Jewish.
— No good holidays, I know! I tried to talk her out of it, but she said she was set on being a Jew. There goes Christmas.

Party, Fallowfield Ave., Beechview.
A Britney Spears song comes on:

Excited Girl: My mom had a dream about Britney Spears last night!

Big Lots, Mckee’s Rocks:

Woman: [on cell phone] I don’t know where I got this cold sore from.
— Yeah, well, if Jim’s not home by nine, I’ll make sure he gets one too.

— Overheard by Jenn

Outside Planned Parenthood, Liberty Avenue, Downtown:

Protestor: [staring into space and preaching] Be honest, doctors! You’re killing babies! Tell the
truth, doctors!
Male Passer-By: Really? I kill babies with a fucking pitchfork! Plus, I don’t charge as much as this place. [walks a few more feet] Do you ever wonder what you might find in the dumpster behind this place?
[Protestor's jaw drops and speechlessly watches the man continue down the street.]

Desoto St, Oakland.
An airplane is flying over the neighborhood with a banner that says “GEICO” on it an has a picture of a caveman.

Old Woman: Real cavemen must be rolling in their frigging graves about this.

Crowded 61C:

Pitt Guy #1: Hey, did you guys hear about that kid who tried to kill himself on the third floor? What was his name?
Pitt Guy #2: I don’t know, but yeah, he tried to jump out the window.
Pitt Girl: That’s so sad.
Pitt Guy #1: Yeah, I feel really bad for his roommate.

Gullifty’s, Squirrel Hill:

Man: You met Mick Jagger?
Woman: Yeah, he was kinda jaggy.

Starbucks, Forbes / Shady, Squirrel Hill.
A half dozen Chatham Girls are sitting on couches chatting

Chatham Girl #1: There needs to be A Streetcar named Chatham!
Chatham Girl #2: No! A Fish Called Chatham!
Chatham Girl #3: Regardless, there will be puppets!

Outside Aribia Building, Downtown:

Young Professional #1: Damn, I have to go to Chicago for work. I’m gonna miss the Genesis concert.
Young Professional #2: Genesis sucks. You probably like Yes too.
[Young Professional #1 flips off #2 and walks away.]
— Overheard by Matthew M. Byrne