Archive for September 2007
Monday, September 24th, 2007
Well, it is called “La Prima.”
La Prima Coffee, Wean Hall, CMU.
A man in his 50s approaches the counter:
Man: [points to pastry] How much does that cost?
Barista: One seveny-five.
Man: [shocked] One hundred seventy-five dollars?!
Barista: No, it’s—
[Man runs away before she can explain.]
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Monday, September 24th, 2007
Score another one lost for Yom Kippur.
Macy’s, Century 3 Mall:
Lady: [on cell] So apparently she’s decided she wants to turn Jewish.
— No good holidays, I know! I tried to talk her out of it, but she said she was set on being a Jew. There goes Christmas.
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Friday, September 21st, 2007
If all you have to talk about at a party is your mother’s dreams, it’s time to reflect on your life.
Party, Fallowfield Ave., Beechview.
A Britney Spears song comes on:
Excited Girl: My mom had a dream about Britney Spears last night!
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Friday, September 21st, 2007
Love: It’s Infectious!
Big Lots, Mckee’s Rocks:
Woman: [on cell phone] I don’t know where I got this cold sore from.
— Yeah, well, if Jim’s not home by nine, I’ll make sure he gets one too.
— Overheard by Jenn
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Thursday, September 20th, 2007
Better than Bowling Balls
Outside Planned Parenthood, Liberty Avenue, Downtown:
Protestor: [staring into space and preaching] Be honest, doctors! You’re killing babies! Tell the
truth, doctors!
Male Passer-By: Really? I kill babies with a fucking pitchfork! Plus, I don’t charge as much as this place. [walks a few more feet] Do you ever wonder what you might find in the dumpster behind this place?
[Protestor’s jaw drops and speechlessly watches the man continue down the street.]
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Thursday, September 20th, 2007
The Royal Water Buffalo are sending a very nasty stone tablet.
Desoto St, Oakland.
An airplane is flying over the neighborhood with a banner that says “GEICO” on it an has a picture of a caveman.
Old Woman: Real cavemen must be rolling in their frigging graves about this.
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Wednesday, September 19th, 2007
“Yeah, that really makes it difficult to study.”
Crowded 61C:
Pitt Guy #1: Hey, did you guys hear about that kid who tried to kill himself on the third floor? What was his name?
Pitt Guy #2: I don’t know, but yeah, he tried to jump out the window.
Pitt Girl: That’s so sad.
Pitt Guy #1: Yeah, I feel really bad for his roommate.
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Wednesday, September 19th, 2007
Thus the Name
Gullifty’s, Squirrel Hill:
Man: You met Mick Jagger?
Woman: Yeah, he was kinda jaggy.
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Wednesday, September 19th, 2007
Avenue C
Starbucks, Forbes / Shady, Squirrel Hill.
A half dozen Chatham Girls are sitting on couches chatting
Chatham Girl #1: There needs to be A Streetcar named Chatham!
Chatham Girl #2: No! A Fish Called Chatham!
Chatham Girl #3: Regardless, there will be puppets!
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Tuesday, September 18th, 2007
Now who’s the owner of a lonely heart?
Outside Aribia Building, Downtown:
Young Professional #1: Damn, I have to go to Chicago for work. I’m gonna miss the Genesis concert.
Young Professional #2: Genesis sucks. You probably like Yes too.
[Young Professional #1 flips off #2 and walks away.]
— Overheard by Matthew M. Byrne