Archive for June 2007
Thursday, June 14th, 2007
Be aware that some people will be offended by your 9/11 souvenirs.
JFK Airport, New York City.
Airplane passengers are waiting for their flight to Pittsburgh. A 20-something girl walks up to gate, sits on the floor with her bags and eats pizza:
Yinzer Man: [gesturing to an empty seat next to him] You can sit right here, if you want.
Girl: [shakes head] That’s okay, I’m fine.
Yinzer Wife: It’s OK; we don’t bite!
Girl: [shakes head again and keeps eating]
Man: [to Yinzer Man] Hey, can I sit here?
Yinzer Man: [glaring at Girl] Sure you can: SHE doesn’t want it!
2 Comments » - Tags: Arguments, Pittsburgh, Yinzers, @ Airplane, Travel and Transportation, Elsewhere, Courtesy
Thursday, June 14th, 2007
“I try to solve all my problems with Fandango.”
Crowded Shuttle from the Gulf Tower to the Boardwalk Parking Lot in the Strip:
30-Something Woman #1: Yeah, so my sister set me up with this guy, and we’ve been dating for awhile, and he’s totally great, but he just told me last week that he doesn’t want to have kids.
30-Something Woman #2: Oh my god! That’s terrible. I know how much you want to have kids.
Woman #1: Yeah, and the weird thing is that when my sister set us up, she told me that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she didn’t want to have kids.
Woman #2: That’s so weird.
Woman #1: Well I think I taught him a lesson: The other night we were going to see a movie, and he called and suggested that we go see Shrek the Third or Ocean’s 13 because he knew that I really wanted to see those. I knew that he hadn’t seen the first two Shreks or Ocean’s 11 or 12 though, so I suggested that we go see Pirates of the Carribean 3 instead because I knew he really wanted to see that. I hadn’t seen the first two Pirates movies, but a girl at work told me you don’t have to see the first two to enjoy the third. So we went to see Pirates 3, and afterward, he said to me, “Thank you so much for going to see Pirates. I really wanted to see it, and I know that you didn’t see the first two.” So I said, “Well, you know, realationships are about compromise, on big and small things.”
So now I think he might think a little bit more about having kids.
— Overheard by Ben
9 Comments » - Tags: Downtown, Attraction, Love & Sex, Beliefs, Credos & Theories, Arts & Entertainment, Strip District, Dumb Girls, OIP Favorites
Wednesday, June 13th, 2007
Yes, some Hilton women read.
Au Bon Pain, Landside Terminal, Pittsburgh Airport:
Preppy Young Woman on Cell Phone: Oh, you should read it. It’s on page six of the New York Times.
—Page six…
—Yeah, it’s about how my uncle paid for her lawyers and everything, and it’s all, “Oh, her rich daddy paid for her to get off.” It’s really, really mean…
—I mean, it’s totally true.
— Overheard by pregnant lady in the corner
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Wednesday, June 13th, 2007
Major Botanical Faux Pas
Cactus Room, Phipps Conservatory:
Woman: Who picks the mites off of these?
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Tuesday, June 12th, 2007
Be careful: He just mailed a package to NBC.
Dorm, CMU campus. Afternoon.
Two girls are yelling up to their friend to come down:
Girls: LAUREN!!! LAAAAAUUUURREN!!!
Guy Leaning out Window: LAUREN! I’ve killed for less and I’ll damn sure do it again!
1 Comment » - Tags: Uncategorized
Tuesday, June 12th, 2007
Ask her poor, devoured, bovine children.
Subway Restaurant, 7th / Liberty, Downtown.
An older, heavy woman orders a roast beef sandwich:
Woman: Yup, I’m a cannibal.
Subway Sandwich Artist: [polite chuckle] Uh, I think you mean “carnivore“.
Woman: I guess that depends on who you ask.
— Overheard by Megan
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Tuesday, June 12th, 2007
Chick Lit in Motion
Starbucks, Shadyside.
Two socialites are drinking coffee and conversing outside. One woman’s dog is lying under the table near the women’s feet:
Socialite #1: Well, I have to go; I have a house to show in Fox Chapel and then I have to get my Lexus serviced.
Socialite #2: Oh… OK, good luck… Well, um, call me soon!
Socialite #1: [shuffles her feet under the table, searching for her shoes] Hey! Your dog chewed my shoe! YOUR DOG CHEWED MY GODDAMN SHOE!!!
Socialite #2: OH! I am sooooo sorry! I’ll replace them—
Socialite #1: THEY’RE PRADAS! THEY’RE SIX HUNDRED DOLLAR PRADAS!!!
[Woman #2 gets up and walks away quickly with her dog.]
Socialite #2: [quietly, to dog] Good doggie! Mommy loves you.
3 Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Monday, June 11th, 2007
Yes, but who gets more sliced off?
Destinta, North Versailles.
A college-aged couple exit a screening of Hostel: Part II:
Girl: I feel like there was a lot more nudity in this one.
Guy: Well, at least there were a couple of penis shots this time.
Girl: There were two. Just two.
Guy: Yeah, but there were only five topless women.
Girl: That’s five sets: It’s ten boobs total. Not equal.
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Monday, June 11th, 2007
Because it’s there.
6th Ave, Downtown:
Woman: Why did you think it was OK to brush the cats w/ my hairbrush?!
Man: For the same reason that you think it’s OK to use my razor to shave your legs!
2 Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Monday, June 11th, 2007
David E. Kelly just got an idea for a new TV series.
Outside Bossa Nova, Downtown.
A group of women is standing outside:
Older Drunk Guy: Be honest with me, ladies: What do you look for in a man? Is it humor or is it stability? Be honest!
Tall Woman: Humor. We’re all doctors; we don’t need stability.