Archive for June 2007

Monday, June 25th, 2007

Causing Trouble since 1517

Starbucks, Forbes Ave, Oakland.
Three large Christian youth groups in matching t-shirts enter, and the vast majority orders Frappuccinos. After about 20 minutes, the Lutheran group leaves:

Christian Youth Councilor: [to another] Fucking Lutherans.


Monday, June 25th, 2007

She must walk backward.

N. Craig St., Oakland.
Two large Catholic school girls are walking slowly, taking up the entire sidewalk. A few people have lined up behind them:

Girl #1: So I left without her. I told her she was too slow.
Girl #2: Mmmmhmmm.


Monday, June 25th, 2007

Formerly of the Twin Peaks Gazette

Office, East Liberty. Early Morning:

Clerk: Man, we have got to have the weirdest paperboy around.
Janitor: You should see the deformed midget who delivers the Wall Street Journal!

— Overheard by corey w.


Friday, June 22nd, 2007

Helga’s collection was legendary.

Target, The Pointe at North Fayette:

Fat Old Butch Woman: Where are you at, Helga?
Helga: At the girdles; where do you think?

— Overheard by Darwin Police


Friday, June 22nd, 2007

It must be nice, having an older sister who’s willing to rape someone for you.

Carson, South Side. Saturday Night.
Three pre-teens, two boys and a girl, are walking down Carson. The girl stops at a bus stop and the boys keep walking:

Girl: [to man at bus stop] Do the buses that stop here go downtown? [The man answers yes. The girl turns to shout at the boys.] I’m catchin’ a bus, yo! I’m not walkin’!
[One of the boys turns and mumbles something over his shoulder, ending with “rape you.”]
Girl: AND THEN DARLENE’S GONNA RAPE YOU!

— Overheard by bookgrrl


Friday, June 22nd, 2007

The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls at Pitt

Fifth Avenue, near Litchfield Towers, Pitt Campus. Mid-Afternoon.
Two middle-school-aged boys hang outside the window of a bus that is stuck in traffic to yell at
two petite girls who have just left Towers:

Boys: Ya’ll know ya’ll don’t go to Pitt! LITTLE GIRLS!


Thursday, June 21st, 2007

Casual Sundays

Pac Sun, Prime Outlets, Grove City:

Middle-Aged Women: [on cell phone] What is Jacob’s pant size?
— OK, great, I found some nice long shorts I want to get him for church.


Thursday, June 21st, 2007

You Make the Call: Flirting or the setup to a great surprise ending?

The Thunderbird, Lawrenceville.

Guy: Where’re you goin’?
Girl: You know where! To drain the sea monster!
Guy: There’s a sea monster involved?
Girl: [laughing] Wouldn’t you like to know?!?

— Overheard by bookgrrl


Wednesday, June 20th, 2007

Freaks and Geeks

Office Complex, Greentree.
A phone installer is installing new phones and talking loudly on his cell phone:

Phone Installer: I was looking for my IT guy, but I figured he was out burnin’ one.
— I’m not sure if I want to be working with him.


Wednesday, June 20th, 2007

No Room for Subtlety or Nuance at the Three Rivers Arts Festival

Food Pavilion, Three Rivers Arts Festival, Downtown.
Two gay men looking at Italian sausages make eyes at each other and smile:

Gay Man #1: They look gooooood .

Gay Man #2: They look like santorum makers.