Posted by Chris Griswold under Uncategorized
[3] Comments
Starbucks, Shadyside.
Two socialites are drinking coffee and conversing outside. One woman’s dog is lying under the table near the women’s feet:
Socialite #1: Well, I have to go; I have a house to show in Fox Chapel and then I have to get my Lexus serviced.
Socialite #2: Oh… OK, good luck… Well, um, call me soon!
Socialite #1: [shuffles her feet under the table, searching for her shoes] Hey! Your dog chewed my shoe! YOUR DOG CHEWED MY GODDAMN SHOE!!!
Socialite #2: OH! I am sooooo sorry! I’ll replace them—
Socialite #1: THEY’RE PRADAS! THEY’RE SIX HUNDRED DOLLAR PRADAS!!!
[Woman #2 gets up and walks away quickly with her dog.]
Socialite #2: [quietly, to dog] Good doggie! Mommy loves you.