Randy hadn’t been the same since he found out the girl he had kissed isn’t actually Irish.

Carnegie Mellon Bookstore, CMU Campus. Afternoon.
A stoner walks up to the counter to make his purchase. The salesperson is wearing a button that says “TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!”:

Stoner: Hey, is today really your birthday?
Salesperson: No, I just found this button on the counter.
Stoner: Well then, FUCK YOU! You dirty liar!
Salesperson: Um, OK. Thanks.