Archive for March 2007
Friday, March 30th, 2007
Because he has so much to look forward to.
Eat ‘N’ Park, Squirrel Hill:
Middle-Aged Woman #1: I spent the weekend moving my grandfather into assisted living.
Middle-Aged Woman #2: How old is he?
Middle-Aged Woman #1: He’s a hundred and one. He quit smoking two years ago for health reasons.
No Comments » - Tags: Children, Parents & Grandparents, Age, Health: Physical & Mental, Station Square, Smoking
Friday, March 30th, 2007
Like Jesus?
Shop ‘N’ Save, Imperial:
White Guy with Afro: D’ya mind buying me some iced tea? I gave up soda for Lent.
Girl: [holding two 12-packs of pop] Uh. Sure… You’re Catholic?
White Guy: [walks off, turns around and walks backwards for a bit] Yeah. Religion happens to the best of us. [remorsefully]
No Comments » - Tags: Food & Drink, Religion, Shopping, College Kids, Imperial
Friday, March 30th, 2007
Frat boy scientists are working tirelessly to create an online version of roofies.
Campus Shuttle, University of Pittsburgh. Friday night.
The shuttle is full of loud, drunken college students:
Frat Boy: FACEBOOK ‘ER ‘N SHIT!
— Overheard by MLo
No Comments » - Tags: Pitt, Drinking, Drunks & Bars, @ Bus, Attraction, Love & Sex, Dumb Guys, Internet, Technology, College Kids
Thursday, March 29th, 2007
It would have been, if not for the mix-up at Ellis Island.
Principles of Economics Class, Doherty Lecture Hall, CMU.
Lottery numbers for all the students are listed on either side of the room, A to L on the left, M to Z on the right:
Student #1: [yells to student entering room] YO CORNBREAD! YOU’RE ON THE LEFT!!
Student #2: Wait. What are you talking about? His last name is Roberts.
Student #1: Oh right! I was thinking that his last name was Bread from calling him Cornbread.
No Comments » - Tags: CMU, Dumb Guys, Food & Drink, Intelligence, Friends, History, Language, College Kids
Thursday, March 29th, 2007
Teasing cowards builds upper body strength.
Men’s Locker Room, YMCA, Downtown:
Businessman: Have a good workout.
Elderly Man: Yeah, I’ll go flap my arms like a chicken.
— Overheard by AlwaysReporting
Wednesday, March 28th, 2007
The customers were later asked to leave when their goats were found grazing in the Mystical Exploration section.
Borders Eastside, East Liberty.
Woman: Do I need to buy things here, or can I use my library card?
Manager: Ohhhh… You’ll have to to buy anything you want to take out of the store.
Boyfriend: [points to a giant sign that says “Paperchase”] Yeah, can’t you read? That sign says “Purchase!”
— Overheard by C.
2 Comments » - Tags: East Liberty, Shopping, Customer Service, @ Bookstore, Language
Wednesday, March 28th, 2007
If we’re not expected to pronounce Versailles properly, why should we put in any extra effort here?
71A Inbound. 10 a.m.:
Loud Woman on Cell Phone: Oh, wait, it’s not Duquesne Light.
—Well, I can’t say it, but it’s spelled D-U-Q-U-E-S-N-E.
—Ohhh!
3 Comments » - Tags: @ Bus, Money, Education, Intelligence, Pittsburgh, Shopping, Language
Tuesday, March 27th, 2007
“Stand back, citizen!”
Crazy Mocha, Ellsworth, Shadyside:
Hipster Dude: I’m a para-legal in training; I can find anything!
[Begins to search for a phone number online.]
Tuesday, March 27th, 2007
If you’re lucky, they are.
SportsWorks, Carnegie Science Center. North Shore. Tuesday Afternoon.
Two boys and two girls from a school group, all around seven years old, are sitting on a bench:
Boy #1: Eeeeeewwwwww!!! You have to sit next to two blondes!
Boy #2: So?
Boy #1: Blondes are disgusting!!
No Comments » - Tags: Fashion, Style & Beauty, Children, Parents & Grandparents, Age, Attraction, Love & Sex, Social Divisions, Beliefs, Credos & Theories, North Shore
Tuesday, March 27th, 2007
“A little bird told me. A little bird named Jesus Christ. Perhaps you’ve heard of him?”
Bruegger’s Bagels, Moon Township A middle-aged Catholic lady approaches the bagel counter. The man in front of her in line is a priest, complete with Roman collar.
Lady: Do you have anything meatless?
Bagel Maker: You mean like bagels?
[The lady orders a breakfast sandwich.]
Lady: Wait… I don’t know if I want the egg. Are eggs OK for Lent?
Bagel Maker: I really don’t know. Probably?
Priest: Excuse me. It’s a matter of debate, but I think they’re fine.
Lady: Are you sure? How do you know?
— Overheard by Darwin Police