Archive for February 2007

Tuesday, February 20th, 2007

Just shut up and drink your Orangina.

Crepes Parisienne, Shadyside.
A Hipster Guy and two hipster girls eat with the mother of one of the girls.

Hipster Guy: [talking about a new club] It was so lame. The ambiance was totally jive.


Tuesday, February 20th, 2007

Nine Months after Prom

Starbucks, Sewickley. Sunday morning.
A 50-something husband and wife sit next to each other, reading newspapers:

Wife: Oh, look: K-Mart’s having a baby sale.
Husband: What kind of baby are you looking to buy?
Wife: Oh, you know, whatever’s on clearance.

— Overheard by Darwin Police


Monday, February 19th, 2007

You don’t easily forget eating the school mascot.

Cinema, AMC/Loews Waterfront.
The ads are running before a movie:

Nerdy Girl: I had a friend who mixed LSD and heroin. She lived, though.
Guy Friend: All I can say to her is, “Congratulations.”
Nerdy Girl: Yeah, she didn’t remember much of her freshman year of high school.


Monday, February 19th, 2007

You make the call: What is “IT”?

Chemistry Class, Doherty Hall, Carnegie Mellon:

Frustrated girl: Usually, when I put it next to my boob, it works!
— Overheard by Kevin


Monday, February 19th, 2007

Jill tried to find the perfect balance of alcoholism and intimacy issues.

59U Inbound. Valentine’s Day:

Guy: And every time I want to go to a party, he has to tag along.  He’s so damn clingy.
Girl: Ugh, that is my worst fear, being clingy.  That’s why I only drink when I’m at home and by myself.


Friday, February 16th, 2007

People never tell you how annoying being a sleeper agent can be.

Murray / Darlington, Squirrel Hill. Saturday Afternoon.
A Man and his young daughter walk, holding hands:

Woman: [honking as she passes in her giant gray SUV]: Hey Murray!
Man: Oh, hi.
Woman: How are you?
Man: Oh, good. How are you?
Woman: Good! [drives away]
Man: [to daughter] I have no idea who that was.

— Overheard by corey w.


Friday, February 16th, 2007

“Magician” used to be a genre only in the realm of motivational school assemblies.

McConomy Auditorium, CMU.
Perplexed people leave a showing of The Illusionist:

Guy: You know, magician movies are just like ye olde heist movies.

— Overheard by M. Davies


Friday, February 16th, 2007

Ezra Takahashi

University Center, Carnegie Mellon.
A few people talk in a group near the revolving door:

Asian Guy: [to Blonde Girl] Can I be your girlfriend?
Blonde Girl: Are you Jewish?
Asian Guy: Mmhmm.
Blonde Girl: Then yes, you can!
— Overheard by Connor 


Thursday, February 15th, 2007

Maureen had a strange way of putting her shoes on.

Outside the Cathedral of Learning, Pitt Campus.
An expensively dressed college girl in enormous high-heeled boots talks loudly on her cell phone:

Fancy Girl: [extremely concerned] I swear, every time I wear high heels, my teeth hurt. I really don’t know what’s wrong with me.

— Overheard by Tom VanBuren


Thursday, February 15th, 2007

He rubbed sandpaper on his fingertips first.

Frazier Street, South Oakland. Friday Evening.
A bunch on would-be gangstas are gathered on a porch:

Thug #1: Shit, I cracked that bitch like a goddamn safe!