Archive for February 2007
Wednesday, February 28th, 2007
Probably Just Another Pigeon-Shooting in the Strip District
Bus Stop, Blvd. of the Allies / Market, Downtown:
Thirty-Something Professional Guy: [on cell phone] There’s a helicopter over Downtown; something must be up. I just farted — maybe they think there’s another natural gas leak.
— Overheard by AlwaysReporting
Wednesday, February 28th, 2007
Total Price of a Burger King Order?
Lower-Level Math Class, Doherty Hall, CMU campus:
Professor: Come on, even the Pitt kids would get this one.
— Overheard by egg
6 Comments » - Tags: CMU, Education, Social Divisions, Pittsburgh
Wednesday, February 28th, 2007
CMU should make it a required course.
First day of class for 85-251, “Personality,” at Carnegie Mellon:
Guy #1: Why’re you taking a class on personality? You don’t have one.
Guy #2: That’s why I’m taking it. I’m learning how to get one.
— Overheard by Ka-CHANG
No Comments » - Tags: CMU, Health: Physical & Mental, Education, Jokes, College Kids
Tuesday, February 27th, 2007
Chivalry is not dead.
Bru Lounge, North Shore. 9:30 Saturday Night.
A group of late-20s beer-and-wing guys are out with their girlfriends:
White Girl: Have you met his parents yet?
Indian Girl: Yeah. He introduced me as his “Durka Durka” — you know, like terrorists? And now that’s what his parents call me.
Boyfriend: Yeah, but we mean it in a funny way. And I mean, you did sign my Dad’s birthday card “Durka” afterward.
Indian Girl: [giggling] It’s just so funny: Like how typical white boy from Ohio can you get? And dating a foreigner!
Boyfriend: Oh, c’mon. I’ll make it up you. I’ll like… hug you… or open your car door or something.
Indian Girl: Yeah, he did offer to mail my dad a bag of Lay’s potato chips.
No Comments » - Tags: Attraction, Love & Sex, Dumb Guys, Social Divisions, Intelligence, North Shore
Tuesday, February 27th, 2007
Class schedules be damned; Dave would find his class by feeling.
Wean Hall, Carnegie Mellon. A few minutes before a recitation is about to start, weeks into the semester:
Confused Guy: [poking his head in the door] ‘ey, is this econ theory?
[Several people tell him that it’s not.]
Confused Guy: What the hell? [walking away] I coulda SWORN….
— Overheard by Ka-CHANG
No Comments » - Tags: CMU, Education, Intelligence
Tuesday, February 27th, 2007
The Port Authority still has to honor her lifetime trolly pass.
54C Outbound, Oakland.
Two old women get on the bus; one is markedly older than the other:
Old Woman: [shouting at Older Woman] Where’s your pass? WHERE’S YOUR PASS?!
[Older Woman doesn’t respond.]
Old Woman: WHERE’S YOUR BUS PASS?!!!
[Older Woman doesn’t respond; Old Woman goes through Older Woman’s purse in search of a bus pass.]
Older Woman: Just what the hell do you think you’re doing in my purse?
Old Woman: Looking for your pass.
Older woman: I don’t have a stinking pass! I’m too goddamned old for a damned pass!
— Overheard by Smokey.
No Comments » - Tags: Oakland, @ Bus, Age, Travel and Transportation, Old People
Tuesday, February 27th, 2007
Plug it up! Plug it up!
I am a professional improvisational actor, and I wanted to let you know about the current shows you currently can see me in — Evicted and Friday Nite Improvs and Evicted. Additionally, I teach improv workshops.
Starting this week, you can see me performing longform improv as part of a three-person group called, well, Three. We will be performing at the bi-weekly Evicted comedy show at Future Tenant (this week at 937 Liberty Ave, Downtown) with the city’s best improv troupe, Hustlebot.Longform improv is smarter and funnier than what you might have seen on television. It’s not improv games; instead, the group gets a single suggestion and creates a show from that.
Longform is the type of improv that is popular in cities like New York and Chicago, and Evicted is the only place you can see it in the Pittsburgh area. I highly recommend you see the show. Hustlebot was created by gathering some of the best improvisors in the city, and their shows are great. Three is a group with a rotating cast; this first week, you can see Hustlebot Director Ryan Kiessling, who trained in Chicago; Chris Griswold, who trained in New York; and Ben Mayer, who has been performing improv in Pittsburgh longer than he will admit.
Admission is only $7 for adults and $5 for students, and there’s free beer. For real.
For more information, check out the Evicted Web site at http://www.futuretenant.org/evicted/.
Every week, you can find me at Friday Nite Improvs, Pittsburgh’s longest-running theatre show. What makes FNI unique is that host Ben Mayer asks not only for suggestions from the audience, he asks for volunteers to play the games. If you have ever seen an improv show before and thought about playing one of the games, FNI is your best bet. With a supportive atmosphere, new and seasoned performers come together to have fun with improv and make the audience laugh. The show is different every time, but it’s always funny.
Friday Nite Improvs runs from 11 p.m. Friday nights in the Cathedral of Learning’s studio theatre. (5th Ave entrance) Admission is only $3, and that gets you two hours of comedy plus a musical or variety performance.
For more information, please see Friday Nite Improvs’ Web site: www.fridayniteimprovs.com.
As I said, I teach improv workshops. People I have taught improv have gone on to perform in New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles, as well as write for television. If you or your group are interested in improv classes, please send me an e-mail at ChrisGriswold AT gmail DOT com. I am currently accepting students for a class Friday nights at 8 p.m. before Friday Nite Improvs.
2 Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized
Monday, February 26th, 2007
That feeling never goes away.
Atwood / Forbes, Oakland
A driver stops and asks a pedestrian for directions:
Driver: Excuse me…Atwood Street?
Pedestrian: You’re on it.
Driver on Atwood: Shit.
— Overheard by Steve
No Comments » - Tags: Oakland, Pittsburgh, Parking in Oakland, Courtesy
Monday, February 26th, 2007
How Pitt Criminology Students Eat a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup™
Lobby, Lothrop Hall, Pitt Campus.
Two Black Girls in parkas and tight jeans are discussing a friend:
Girl #1: And you know what she did!?
Girl #2: No, what?
Girl #1: She threw a bucket of ice water in his car!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, and she got two years in jail for it!
[Both sign in and resume the conversation in the elevator:]
Girl #2: Two years in jail?
Girl #1: Yeah. Two years in jail! THE GOVERNMENT IS NAH CH’YOUR FRIEND!
Girl #2: I knew’d it.
[Both laugh hysterically for the next 4 floors.]
— Overheard by Joshua Demaree
2 Comments » - Tags: Pitt, Attraction, Love & Sex, Education, Beliefs, Credos & Theories, Friends, Government & Law, Crime, Hijinx, Gossip, College Kids
Monday, February 26th, 2007
Maybe she bought it at Burlington Coat Factory*
House Party Full of 25-30-Year-Olds, Shadyside.
A blonde girl pulls her black winter coat with fake fur trim around the
hood from the coat pile:
Blonde Girl: [after considering her coat, turns to two random girls] I think my coat is made of dogs; no animal looks like this.
[The girls stare blankly as the blonde girl walks away.]
— Overheard by teri
* Not kidding.