Overheard in Pittsburgh

Life in the Iron City

Archive for January 2007

Wednesday, January 31st, 2007

“I’ve ben practicing not having sex.”

Outside Liquor Store, Atwood St in South Oakland. Evening.

Girl #1:Well I do have brown hair.
Girl #2: I don’t know; do you really think you could be the next Virgin Mary?

— Overheard by Come Again?

---

Tuesday, January 30th, 2007

“Nontraditional student” is not precise enough.

Philosophy Class, Cathedral of Learning, Pitt Campus.
Two Students discuss a female student in a different class:

Student #1: She’s old — like, old old.
Student #2: Old old?
Student #1: Like, older than our parents old.
Student #2: Ah, grandma old.
Student #1: Like, in between— like, in-between parents old and grandma old.

— Overheard by Dan

---

Tuesday, January 30th, 2007

Time And Reality Destroyed In Stall#5

Restroom, Buffalo Blues, Shadyside:

White Girl in Stall #1: Bring back the Decade!
White Girl in Stall #2: Which decade would you bring back?
White Girl in Stall #1: You know, like the `50s. That’d be a good one to bring back. White Girl in Stall #2: I say bring `em all back!

White Girls leave stalls, laughing and wash their hands.

Drunk Black Woman in Stall #3: She said bring ‘em ALLLL back! We be in 1870 wearing ruffled shirts! We be like pirates and shit!!

---

Tuesday, January 30th, 2007

Stephen Colbert: The Backlash Begins

Elevator, Litchfield Tower C, Pitt Campus. After Midnight.
A forlorn, disheveled Student talks to his less-disheveled friend:

Student #1: Ugh.
Student #2: What?
Student #1: Stephen Colbert just directed his Nerd Army to attack Wikipedia again.
Student #2: What, really? He’s still doing stuff like that?
Student #1: Yeah, I don’t know; I guess telling his mindless drones to fuck up their school’s dictionaries wasn’t hilarious enough.
Student #2: Didn’t he used to make fun of guys like that? Is he making fun of his fans, or what? I mean, what’s his point?
Student #1: Yeah; I used to think that stuff was funny, but now it’s just kind of weird and sad. I’m kind of ready for him to be over now.
Student #2: Yeah.

— Overheard by I used to think he was funny too

Editor’s Note: I have loved Stephen Colbert’s work for a long time — Exit 57, Strangers with Candy, the Daily Show, and his current series — but I think this stuff’s a little done, too. At what point did Colbert stop merely mimicking the charismatic leaders of cult-like movements and actually become one? When does the cost of the joke exceed the payoff? I really wish Colbert would stop with the Rocky-Horror-Picture-Show-audience-participation biz would stop so I can feel OK about liking his series again. — Chris

---

Tuesday, January 30th, 2007

Overheard in Pittsburgh LifeLessons™: It’s never too late to end your bloodline.

Escalator, Barnes and Noble, Squirrel Hill. Sunday afternoon.

College Nerdy Chick: [to two friends] So his wife went to Europe, and while she was away… He got their baby a vasectomy!
Friends: No way!

— Overheard by vin

---

Tuesday, January 30th, 2007

Urban Studies Majors: So Virile You Can Get Pregnant Just by Thinking about Them.

Einstein Bros. Bagels, Posvar Hall, Pitt Campus.

Hipster Girl #1: He’s so attractive; what’s his major?
Hipster Girl #2: Urban Studies or something.
Hipster Girl #1: What does he want to do with his life, you know, besides biking?
Hipster Girl #2: Oh, you know, be a man…a big, virile man…with chest hair.
[…]
Hipster Girl #2: God, I need to go back on birth control.

— Overheard by voltron

---

Monday, January 29th, 2007

“We’ll stand on train tracks in front of a brick wall!”

61B Inbound. Morning.
A Goth of Indeterminate Gender in full regalia — fishnet gloves, chains, acne — stares into space for a while and then suddenly reaches for a cell phone:

Goth: Yo Scary! I really hate to bother you when you’re at work, but I just got the greatest idea for an album cover!
— Yeah, I’ll call you after school to tell you all about it. Bye.

---

Monday, January 29th, 2007

Vaudeville: Alive and Well

Fish Counter, Giant Eagle Market District, Center Ave:

Middle-Aged Woman: So, I can just bake those and they’re ready, right?
Fishmonger: Yep, at nine hundred fifty degrees for four days.
Middle-Aged Woman: Riiiight.
[…]
Fishmonger: So what’re you gonna tell your guests you’re making?
Middle-Aged Woman: Reservations!  Ha!

— Overheard by Kevin

---

Monday, January 29th, 2007

The guitar-playing CoolDudes™ were installed near it two years later.

67F Outbound, leaving Pitt Campus:
Woman: [pointing to the footbridge over Forbes Ave.] When did they build that?
Man: It’s always been there. Look, it says on it, “Established 1787.”

---

Monday, January 29th, 2007

He didn’t want her to think she had bad breath.

Checkout Line, Giant Eagle, Squirrel Hill:

Guy: [talking about someone on the radio] I like to hear his voice, I just don’t want to see him. You know, like, you can fuck the hooker, but you shouldn’t kiss the hooker.
Girl: [sweetly] Awww, we had that conversation the first night we met.

---

• Currently Browsing

  • You are currently browsing the archives for the month January 2007

• Search:

• Sponsors:

End Ads-->

Overheard in Pittsburgh is powered by WordPress 2.0.5 and delivered to you in 0.734 seconds using 16 queries.
Theme: Connections Reloaded v1.5 by Ajay D'Souza. Derived from Connections. Header photo by Herbert Spencer, released under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0.