Archive for December 2006
Tuesday, December 19th, 2006
Take advantage of Greyhound’s new “Half a Hoagie Gets You Halfway” promotion.
Forbes Ave, Pitt Campus, Oakland.
A group of students emerges from a Pitt cafeteria. One, a total Badass, is carrying half a hoagie in a bag:
Tall Black Panhandler: Say, kids: You got any extra change? I’m trying to get me a bus ticket.
Badass Student: Nah, man, sorry. I only use plastic.
Panhandler: How `bout that sandwich?
No Comments » - Tags: Uncategorized, Oakland, Pitt, Dumb Guys, Money, Food & Drink, Social Divisions
Tuesday, December 19th, 2006
Cathy’s first sexual experience was a real eye-opener.
Crowded 61C Outbound, Oakland. 6:30 p.m.:
College Girl on Cell Phone: Yeah, it’s like that guy who talks about how men and women are different?
— [thoughtfully] they REALLY ARE.
No Comments » - Tags: Oakland, @ Bus, Attraction, Love & Sex, Social Divisions, Intelligence, Beliefs, Credos & Theories
Monday, December 18th, 2006
“Regardless, he’s getting the sweater I bought him.”
Litchfield Towers Lobby, Pitt Campus:
Blonde Girl on Cell Phone: And he said all he wanted for Christmas was for a specialist to see what’s wrong with him!
— Overheard by Zyzzy
No Comments » - Tags: Pitt, Holidays, Health: Physical & Mental
Monday, December 18th, 2006
Remember: Christmas is for Christians ONLY.
Litchfield Tower A, Pitt Campus.
A Student walks down the dorm hallway, whistling “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”:
Voice from Open Door: Lionel! Jewish!
[Student abruptly stops whistling.]
No Comments » - Tags: Pitt, Holidays, Social Divisions, Religion
Monday, December 18th, 2006
Coming Soon: Arby’s Primanti Brothers Restaurants
Smithfield & Forbes, Downtown:
Man #1: I have to stop at Kaufmann’s to get something.
Man #2: It’s Macy’s now.
Man #1: So what are they calling the clock? “Macy’s Clock”?
Man #2: I don’t think they’ve decided yet.
Man #1: Maybe they’ll call it Macy’s Kaufmann’s Clock.
Man #2: No, too much of a mouthful.
Man #1: This from a man who is going to be working for Bank of New York Mellon.
Man #2: Well, that’s better than what someone called it at a staff meeting: “BONE ME”.
Man #1: Huh? Uh…Bank Of NEw york…MEllon. OK, I get it.
Man #2: I just hope that’s not how I feel six months from now.
— Overheard by Anonymous
4 Comments » - Tags: Downtown, Money, Pittsburgh
Friday, December 15th, 2006
When Dave finally showed up for work, things got a little dicey at Loving Tree Nursery School.
Bus Stop, 21st and Liberty, Strip District.
A Young Woman hurriedly arrives at the stop:
Young Woman: Did the 54C already come by?
Skanky Guy: No, not yet.
[Skanky Guy pulls can of Labatt’s Blue out of a duffel bag, cracks it open, and chugs entire can.]
Skanky Guy: And it better fuckin’ hurry up or I’m going to be late for work.
— Overheard by Smokey
No Comments » - Tags: Drinking, Drunks & Bars, @ Bus, Work, Strip District
Friday, December 15th, 2006
Yeah, that part’s important.
Hoyt Hall, Grove City College. Before an Engineering Class:
Student #1: Why do you have the clocks for Pittsburgh and Uganda up? It’s the same timein both places.
Student #2: What?
Student #1: Oh, just the minute hands are the same.
No Comments » - Tags: Education, Intelligence, Grove City
Thursday, December 14th, 2006
Remember when hazing was clever?
Second Floor, Posvar Hall, University of Pittsburgh.
A Girl at a table is visibly upset as she talks on her cell phone:
Girl on Cell: Who?
—No, I told you I was going to push her down the stairs!
— Overheard by hta
No Comments » - Tags: Pitt, Violence
Thursday, December 14th, 2006
Said While Eating Money
54C Inbound, Oakland:
Drunk Blonde Girl: I’m as Republican as Republican comes!
— Overheard by Sarah E
No Comments » - Tags: Oakland, @ Bus, Social Divisions, Intelligence, Beliefs, Credos & Theories, Politics
Thursday, December 14th, 2006
On the next Veronica Mars
Cathedral of Learning, University of Pittsburgh:
Girl: Is she cute?
Guy: I’ve had cuter. It’s ridiculous, though. Her brother puts a comment on my Facebook wall saying, “Legally, it’s not statutory rape,” so I replied on his and said, “You can’t rape the willing.” Then she takes me off her friends, blocks me on AIM — the whole nine yards!
Girl: Jeez.
Guy: I’m not worrying about it. Hey, do you have AIM?
Girl: Um, I don’t get online.
Guy: You have a phone, though, right? Why don’t you give me your number and we can talk about it some more?
— Overheard by Tia