Overheard in Pittsburgh

Life in the Iron City

Archive for December 2006

Friday, December 22nd, 2006

Negotiating Intercourse

Kiva Han, Meyran Ave, Oakland:

Guy on Date: What else…? Oh, I have psoriasis on my elbows.  And my shoulders, knees, shins… How do you feel about that?  Would that terribly upset you?

— Overheard by M. Davies

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Friday, December 22nd, 2006

When you’re short a few organs, you choose your vices carefully.

Overcrowded Emergency Room, Presbyterian Hospital, Oakland:
A Patient has just listed his problems for a Doctor, including having a pacemaker, one kidney, and a lung infection:

Doctor: Why do you have the pacemaker?
Patient: Crack.
[…]
Doctor: When was the last time you did crack?
Patient:Today.
Doctor: [clear his throat] Do you smoke?
Patient: No, smoking is bad for you.

— Overheard by alicia

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Friday, December 22nd, 2006

“And then I told this guy I liked his sunglasses.”

54C Inbound, Oakland:

Very Drunk Blonde: The other day, I heard this accent that was really cool. I was going to ask the lady where she was from, but then I realized she was deaf.

— Overheard by Sarah E

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Friday, December 22nd, 2006

Sad Feet / March of the Penguins

Side of a Moving Van, Regent Square.
Hours after the State Announced the Slots License Winner:

— Seen by ambrose

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Thursday, December 21st, 2006

Further Devalueing Bachelor’s Degrees

71A Outbound, Oakland:

Pitt Girl #1: Yeah, that test was so hard today I can’t believe it.
Pitt Girl #2: The teacher is an ass; there’s no reason the class should be so hard.
Pitt Girl #1: Did you understand the question about “rotational?” I mean, I could read it alright, I just couldn’t understand what it said. What the hell does “rotational” mean?
Pitt Girl #2: I think it, like, has something to with wheels. I’ve used it before; I’ve just never stopped to think about what it means.
Pitt Girl #1: No one probably understood it.
Pitt Girl #2: Yeah, Probably…

— Overheard by Lelio

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Thursday, December 21st, 2006

So is it the minority or the majority who’s pissing in Market Square?

61B Inbound:

Lady: I don’t think they should do anything to Downtown. We don’t need no redevelopmend Downtown. It’s fine the way it is.
Man: Yeah. You know what? Downtown development only benefits those who’ve put money into it. It’s just a way to make money. And that benefits the minority. And you know who the minority is? The majority.
Lady: That’s right.

 — Overheard by Smokey

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Wednesday, December 20th, 2006

Can’t Churn Butter on the Sabbath

Ross Park Mall, McKnight Road. 8 p.m.
A middle aged couple walk by a group of well-dressed Orthodox Jewish teenagers having a lively conversation near an escalator:

Middle-Aged Woman: I find it odd to see such a large group of Amish boys in the mall tonight.

— Overheard by Joe

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Wednesday, December 20th, 2006

Ebonics Is So 1996.

Health Services, CMU.
A nurse checks a student’s infected ear:

Nurse: You ALL messed up in yo’ head!
Student: What?
Nurse: I regret to inform you that you have an ear infection.

— Overheard by TheConnor

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Wednesday, December 20th, 2006

Blessed are the Children

Pleasant Hills Community Presbyterian Church, South Hills.
Beginning of 11 a.m. Service:

Leader: The Session has called a congregational meeting to take place today immediately following the 11 a.m. worship service.
Two-Year-Old: Whaaaaaaa! [sobs uncontrollably]
[Several adults nod in agreement.]
— Overheard by Rob

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Tuesday, December 19th, 2006

She got gravy on the deluxe Dungeon Master’s Guide he bought her.

Starbucks, Forbes Ave, Oakland. Friday Night. 
A College Guy with braces says something funny, and his date, a College Girl with glasses spits out some coffee:

College Girl: [dabbing chin and neck with a napkin]: This is why you can’t buy me nice things.

— Overheard by Kate

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